Ultimatum
by AddisonSp
Summary: Gates knows, and policies are policies. When their romance is discovered, they are presented with an ultimatum-their professional partnership or their romantic relationship. Is it really possible to go back? Sometimes in order to know what is right, you've got to choose wrong first. Even the angst is romantic in this one guys.
1. Chapter 1

**First and foremost, let me say that I am still working on "A Drop in the Ocean." However, the story has driven me to the point where I needed to write, but needed the material to be substantially less 'heavy' than the current events of that story. That said, this story will have it's share of angst, but nothing like the peril befalling Lucy and friends at the moment.**

**I am excited about where this story is going to go, and I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

* * *

It was a fun game they played, watching how the boys and Lanie would speculate about the _new man_ in Kate's life. Between the two, she had a much harder time justifying herself, insisting that nothing was different and there was no mystery man. Castle used the sensitivity the boys tried to bring to the situation to his advantage.

Kate informed him pretty early on that she knew they would avoid pressing him for information on her mystery lover. Afterall, the way he felt about her was no secret, and it would simply be cruel to throw the fact that she was dating _someone _in the writer's face. So the boys, according to Kate, would avoid talking about their suspicions while he was around.

It appeared that she was right, as their whispers always seemed to quiet when he came into the room. He would ask what they were talking about and they would make up a lame story or try to distract him. It was somewhat of a relief, but truth be told he was a bit disappointed too. Afterall, nothing pleased the writer more than to fabricate interesting and twisted stories, and he relished the mystery of their new relationship.

When it came to Lanie he was simply relieved. Afterall, the medical examiner had some sort of sixth sense where Kate was concerned, and it seemed to be only heightened when it came to the detective's sex life. He had to say that it stroked his ego more than a little bit when he overheard the comments about how great she looked, how peaceful and relaxed her mannerisms were, or how fulfilled she seemed as of late. The only conclusion the medical examiner could reach was that Kate was having the best sex of her life.

Castle delighted in these observations, especially because there were no comments about how wonderful Kate seemed when she was with Josh or Tom. There was no change in her then. Hell, he and the boys had all been shocked when Josh strolled into the precinct, ready to take her away by motorcycle. No, the sex-induced transformation of Kate Beckett was all him and no one else.

The writer smiled to himself, afterall the doctor was out of the picture and now the only person sharing her bed was him. He was determined that things would stay that way too. After finally knowing how they were together, knowing how she was in those most vulnerable and intimate magic moments, he was determined that nobody else would ever touch her in that way again. So, the information he gathered from their curious friends told him one thing, he was good for Kate. Yes, he was indeed, _Very good_ for Kate.

She rolled her eyes at him on evening when he brought it up. "Be careful of that ego, Castle. If it gets any bigger I don't think there will be room in bed for the both of you." She elbowed him, but didn't deny his claim, turning instead to dig back in to the carton of Chinese food she was currently feasting on.

"Say whatever you want Kate, but I think your friends are very wise. They know what's good for you, and I-dear detective, am _positively fantastic_ for you. I have medicinal powers." He smirked at her.

At his words she turned to him, her expression sultry as she leaned dangerously close to him,

"Do you know what you're best at, Rick?" He could feel the heat radiating from her body as his senses were overwhelmed by the mere scent of her, his body was quick to respond as usual. Afterall, it had been three days since they'd last had sex. To them, anything more than 36 hours seemed like a dry spell. To say the couple was insatiable would have been an understatement.

He'd grown to recognize her scent, to love it in the years they'd worked together; he'd become obsessed with in the months since they'd become lovers. She was fully aware of the impact she had on him too, and he knew it. Still, he couldn't bring himself to care as he found himself leaning towards her delicious mouth, seeking her lips for just a taste.

"What am I best at, Kate? Tell me." He whispered, his breath mingling with hers as they inched ever closer.

"Bringing me food." She spoke loudly and somewhat bluntly as she shoved him back, "now pass me the spring rolls." He glared at her,

"tease." He replied as he passed her the carton she'd requested.

"I'm only a tease if I have no intention of seeing my actions through, Mr. Castle." She spoke matter of factly, "and I have strong intentions of acting on my every whim with you in just a few hours, just a few feet from here." She spoke flirtatiously, nodding her head towards her bedroom.

He smiled at her, leaning in to plant an open-mouthed kiss on her neck before he returned to his own food. He sucked at her skin just hard enough to leave a slight mark, earning him a glare when he pulled back from her. "What?" He shrugged, making innocent of his foreplay.

"I've always liked the previews," he justified. She tried to suppress her smile at his words, but not very hard.

It was a Friday evening and they were both enjoying the prospect of a weekend off after what had been a long and gruesome week.

A family had been murdered and the killer was, of all people, the single-surviving teenage daughter. It had been especially trying for Kate, as she'd spent a great deal of time helping the girl process the death of her parents, helping her to grieve and showing her that life got better; only to find that the victim was the killer. It had been disheartening and Castle was determined to bring some light back into her life again.

* * *

Saturday evening found them cuddled up in bed at the loft. In the past, Castle had been determined to keep television out of his bedroom. Afterall, he reasoned, it detracted from the romance. There were only two things he wanted to be doing in his bedroom, and watching television was not one of them. Then he became involved with Kate, discovering that even when they weren't having sex, or curled up into one another fast asleep, he still loved to have her in his bed.

He'd installed a flat screen just for the purpose of watching old movies in bed with Kate, relishing in the feel of her body completely relaxed against his as they cuddled beneath the soft down comforter and smooth Egyptian cotton sheets of his bed. He sighed happily as he brushed his nose against her temple and kissed her gently. Their lips would roam and their hands would explore, but eventually they would always find one another, lacing their fingers in the gentlest of caresses.

His exes had always been on the go, wanting to be out on the town and basking in the spotlight. Sure they wanted sex, but his credit cards and his celebrity always seemed to be the best part of the package where they were concerned. He'd simply accepted it as part of his career, a pitfall of success. However, Kate simply wanted him-nothing more and nothing less. He was a lucky man and life never seemed more perfect than it did on those lazy days spent in bed together.

He couldn't imagine a better life. They solved crimes by day, bantering, theorizing and finishing each other's sentences. He brought her coffee, took her to lunch, they hung out with the boys, put criminals behind bars. Then at night, they would always find their way to each other. Locations would shift between her apartment and his loft, but they rarely slept apart anymore. He went to bed with her at night and woke with her in his arms. Life was indeed perfect.

Kate never slept as soundly as she did when she was in his arms, her dreams were light and her rest was restorative. Once able to completely let her guard down, she found it so incredibly easy to let herself go. As a result, she would often drift off to sleep during their movies, her head resting on his chest as his caress lulled her into unconsciousness. She was satiated, completely content and hopelessly in love with him. What surprised her most was that on days like this, she couldn't bring herself to care.

Of course there were doubts. In the light of day she would often reflect on his past, and wonder what _exactly _had happened to his past relationships. She tried not to think about whether or not the same fate would befall them. For all the love she carried, she also struggled with confusion and uncertainty. Kate didn't want to be without him, but she also didn't want to become ex-wife number three.

She knew that if it didn't work out with them she could lose everything, and the thought of not having him by her side was unfathomable. Being with him was a risk, but being without him didn't seem like an option. They needed one another too much.

She'd leapt, she'd given her mind, heart and body, but the realities of their lives, and the unlikely combination that they were as a couple weighed heavily on her. Would love be enough? What would happen when the rose-colored glasses came off? What had happened to the celebutants-chasing womanizer she'd met? Had he really changed his ways, or would he eventually become bored with her?

Before they'd become lovers it was easy to keep him interested. He was enthralled by the mystery that she was, always trying to solve her, to figure her out. Now that the mystery was gone, and he'd gotten this far with her, would he lose interest? Kate could never bring herself to ask him these questions. Afterall, they sounded pathetic, needy and completely unlike her. Still, they were at the back of her mind, nagging her from time to time.

It was easy enough to distract herself from those uneasy thoughts. Afterall, he was there. He was warm, willing and above all else, it felt so damn good to finally be with him. Yes, the sex was out of this world, but the tenderness that they carried, the lingering looks and the gentle touches when nobody was looking, the way they kissed until they were dizzy, the whole package was better than her wildest dreams could have concocted.

Yes, there was a lot of uncertainty, and a certain level of anxiety, but at the end of the day she didn't think she could walk away if she wanted to. So, she tried not to dwell on the unknown and chose instead to focus on the present, and at the present his touch felt wonderful.

She let out a long and satisfied moan, cueing him that she was awake as she stretched out languidly against his body. He was clad only in his silk boxer shorts, she not much more covered in her purple lace panties and camisole. She'd discovered early on that he loved her in lace, and her current attire had been the product of a shopping trip planned with just him in mind.

Kate loved lace too. It made her feel feminine and sexy, the material was so incredibly fragile, yet the effect it had on him when she wore it was nothing less than powerful. The fierce and sexy detective loved to string him on in the day, but the feminine and vulnerable woman loved him to take control at night, and nothing seemed to spur that transition more quickly for him than seeing her in lace.

His fingers skimmed along her lower back, dipping below her panties as his palm spread across her behind, grasping her firmly and pulling her up and in line with his groin. They both shuttered at the new contact this brought, Kate feeling her nipples harden suddenly against his bare chest.

"Undress me, Castle." She softly commanded as she pressed her hands against his chest and pushed herself up to straddle him. They never lost contact where they needed it most as he slid his hands up her sides, taking the soft material with him and tossing it lightly over her head. She yelped in surprise when he suddenly shifted them and came to rest on top of her.

Their movie was completely forgotten as he slid her panties over her hips and down her legs, shedding his boxers before coming back to rest on top of her. She sighed as she let her legs fall open, thrilled by the sensation of him settling there. She struggled to catch her breath in the next moment as she felt him fill and stretch her completely. It never got old and she swore that he could bring her to the edge without even trying.

Soon they were both there, struggling to prolong the moment but failing miserably as their bodies took over, winding them both impossibly higher and higher. He usually waited, seeing to it that she released before he did. However, every now and then the stars would align and they would both climax in the exact same moment, falling over the edge together.

In those rare and precious moments Kate wasn't sure she would have remembered her own name, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was them, that moment, when they were close enough to lose sight of where one ended and the other began.

With each passing day they became more and more enmeshed, the unity they found in bed building into the connection they already possessed in a powerful way. Truth be told, they were both amazed that the world didn't see it, that they continued to go on in secret. Little did they know that their perfect bubble would soon burst, and with the discovery of their romance, their untarnished little universe would come crashing down upon them.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is dedicated to the reviewer who thought the first chapter was a cliffhanger ;-) hehehe.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

* * *

Sunday afternoon found them out on his boat in the Hamptons. They'd gotten up before dawn to make the trip, as it was forecast to be a beautiful fall day for sailing. So, with a picnic basket packed, along with drinks and blankets, they were off.

Kate inhaled the cool air, feeling the taste of salt on her lips. Despite the fact that she rarely gave herself the opportunity to go, the ocean was one of her favorite places. She sighed as she watched the waves, choppy enough to give a steady up and down movement to his boat, but not so violent as to make her ill.

She wore a cashmere sweater, the soft, light blue material coming down to the heels of her hands and trapped underneath her fingers as she continuously swept her wind-blown hair from her face.

"I love this." She opened her eyes upon hearing his words, expecting to find him looking out at the Atlantic; Instead he as staring contemplatively at her. The warmth in his eyes still made her stomach flip, even after all these months together.

"What?" She asked softly.

"How peaceful and content you look right now. You've always been gorgeous, but you're so at home here and it's simply stunning." She smiled at him as she pushed herself back from the railing, taking a few short steps towards where he stood and wrapping her arms around his chest.

"The smile on my face is equal part ocean, equal part you, Castle." The warmth of her breath on his neck contrasted with the chill of the breeze and sent a pleasant chill through his body. Keeping one hand on the wheel, he used his other to hold her against him and lined her brow with kisses.

"Now you understand why I've been trying to get you out here for years, Kate." He told her as he brushed his nose against her temple and inhaled the scent of her hair. The feather-light sensation of his nose against her skin caused her to release a light laugh.

"You always have to be right, huh Castle?" She teased.

"I'm simply saying, if you'd not been so stubborn and agreed to go years ago when I asked you, you could have been enjoying all of this." She stilled in his arms, the laughter dying on her lips as she pulled back from him. Sensing the sudden shift in her mood, Castle brought his hands to her arms to hold her in place.

He stared at her, but she remained fixated on the sweater he wore, tracing its patterns with her fingers. "Kate, what is it? Did I say something wrong?" He softly questioned her. He couldn't understand why his teasing would have caused such a change in her mood.

"You didn't say anything wrong, Castle. I was just thinking about lost time, thinking about the past." Truth be told, his words stung her. They took her right back to the moment of heartbreak she felt two years before, when she'd been ready to lay it all on the line for him; when she'd watched him walk away with his arm around his ex-wife instead of her.

"Talk to me, Kate." Castle insisted, not willing to let her off the hook with some vague statement about the past.

"I know that you think you've been waiting patiently for me, that I was untouchable-not interested, while you pined away Castle, but it isn't true. You weren't the only one who hurt."

Placing his hand under her chin he lifted her head, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Kate, what are you talking about?"

"Before Josh, Castle." She took a deep breath and continued, "Ask me why I broke up with Demming." She held her eyes to his and forced herself to not look away.

"Kate, I don't understand."

"I wanted you. I wanted YOU Castle, and I was ready to tell you" She spoke fiercely, but her voice soon broke, "then she was there and you were gone." Kate whispered the last part, as if speaking more to herself then to him.

"Gina." He spoke, understanding her words. He felt a profound sense of regret and guilt as he thought back on that day, on how Kate had taken him into the hallway to talk to him. In retrospect, it all made sense, and he saw the whole scene unfold in his memory from her perspective.

Her eyes were focused on her feet as he moved his hand from her jaw to her hairline, brushing the tendrils that had fallen into her face back behind her ear. "I'm an idiot."

"You didn't know." She whispered. " You didn't think I was interested, and I wasn't exactly leaving you clues to believe otherwise."

"I wish I had known." He answered.

"When you returned in the fall you were still with her. I hated it, I hated myself for feeling the way I did. One night I went to a bar to drown my sorrows, so to speak, and I met Josh. I figured why the hell not."

She finally looked back up at him, wanting to be sure there was no misunderstanding her now, "He was a distraction, Castle, and nothing more. I think that's why I was so pissed when you called me out on hiding in my relationships with men later that year."

"All this time Kate, all this wasted time." He pulled her against her and kissed her forehead.

"Not wasted time, Castle. By the time I realized exactly how much you meant to me, how much lo-" She broke off, still unable to bring herself to say the words, "How much I needed you, I knew that there was a lot of work to be put in. I wanted to be ready for you, for us, and I wasn't back then." She explained.

"But now…" He moved in to kiss her, brushing his lips against hers softly as he moved his tongue to taste her.

"mmmm." She smiled against him, letting go of the past and resting firmly in the present, "but now you're here, and I'm here." She spoke against his lips, "and there's no place else I would rather be."

He moved his hands down and caressed her lower back, allowing his fingers to slip beneath her sweater and graze the warm skin beneath. She leaned into his neck, biting him quickly and then placing her tongue over the same spot.

"Every second with you has been worth the wait." He whispered, "every single long and seemingly endless second."

She smiled and let her body sink against his completely. He was right, they were amazing together and it was well worth the wait.

* * *

Kate sat at her desk, stretching her arms above her head and arching her back to release the tension building there as a result of sitting in the same position for too long. Another endless week had taken its toll and she was at her breaking point.

Sure, they'd caught the guy, but not before he'd killed three more women. The result was tragic and even after he had confessed, the loose ends needed to be tied up. She looked at the time on her computer, it was nearly 6pm and she was ready to go home.

She smiled to herself for what felt like the first time that day as it occurred to her that _home _no longer revolved around a location, but a person. She knew he would be calling soon. Another aspect of their relationship was that she no longer worked late into the nights. More often than not he would call her, or physically come and get her when she got so tied up that she'd missed his calls.

He would always wait to show up in person until he knew everyone else was gone. On more than one occasion he had startled her out of her concentration on the murder board with her jacket in his hands, holding it out for her to put on. This is precisely how she encountered him later that day, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder as he urged her to come home with him.

"Come on Kate, the murder board and the paperwork will be here in the morning." In the past Kate would have been livid with anyone who tried to interfere with her life, but with him she let her guard down. It wasn't easy, but she'd been working with Dr. Burke about letting people in, about letting people help her more. She figured that this was the perfect opportunity to put her newly learned perspective to work.

She sighed and eased into her jacket. She couldn't argue that being fed by him, and then taken to bed to be loved by him was far more appealing than working late into the nights anyway. She buttoned up her coat and after looking around to be sure nobody was around, laced her arm through his.

"So, what are you feeling like for dinner tonight? Italian? Chinese?" She asked him as they entered the elevator.

"Actually, I was hoping we could grab a quick bite and then you would let me take you out tonight." Kate raised her eyebrows at him. They didn't go out much, it was too big of a risk. Their relationship was on the down low and there was too good a chance that he would be recognized. The last thing that Beckett wanted was to find their picture on the front of page 6.

"Castle, I don't think that-" He cut her off before she could finish her thought.

"I know Kate, but tonight is special and I had a specific spot in mind." He urged her. "It is a quiet little jazzy hole in the wall that few people know about. It is dark, private, the music is good and the atmosphere is great." He explained.

It certainly sounded nice to her, but she was still unsure. Reading the trepidation on her face, he simply took her hands in his own. "Kate, tonight marks 6 months that we've been a couple. I want to celebrate. I want to take you dancing. Since I can't wine and dine you at the fanciest of restaurants, I wanted to show you this place. I've never taken anyone else here, but I want to share it with you."

She smiled at him and lifted her hand to brush his cheek. Leaning in, she kissed him softly and sighed, "six months, huh?" She couldn't believe how the time had flown. It seemed as if they had just crossed that line yesterday. Yet, at the same time, she also had a connection, a familiarity with him that made it feel as if they'd been married for years.

She leaned back in and kissed him again. "We go to my place first. If you're going to take me dancing, I want to change." He smiled triumphantly at her, "as you wish."

* * *

_Chandra's _was exactly as Castle had described it, a hole in the wall jazz club. It had an essence of decades past that reminded Kate of the diary Castle read to her months before. She could imagine Joe and Vera in a location like this, dancing cheek to cheek. She smiled at the thought as they sat and ordered drinks.

The lighting was low at their table, facing the stage where a middle-aged African American woman crooned into the microphone. She wore a long dress that captured her full-figure perfectly. Her voice was sultry and sweet, and she was simply stunning. The woman, as it turned out, was the owner of the club, and she frequented the microphone for her patrons.

Below the stage was a dance floor, graced by several couples who all appeared to be very much in love. There wasn't much of a crowd, but it didn't seem to matter to the dancers. Kate smiled, glad that he'd shared this with her. She felt safe here, out of the spotlight and away from prying eyes who might reveal their secret to the world. Castle watched Kate as she took the cozy, intimate space in. She smiled softly as she listened to Chandra's song, a smooth melody sung about the love of the woman's life.

That evening, she'd pulled her hair back into a clip, sweeping it off her neck but still allowing tendrils to frame her face. She wore a hunter green dress that twisted in the front, hugged her breasts, but fell loosely to her calves. The halter top tied behind her neck, the dress leaving much of the skin on her back bare and allowing him to caress the expanse of her back anytime she reached out to pull him close.

He was surprised when she came out of her room wearing it. Afterall, it was November. She'd simply slid her jacket on and teased him. "What, this place is in doors, right?" He certainly wasn't going to argue with her, the dress was stunning.

"Dance with me, Castle." She whispered, bringing his attention back to the present, she stood and reached for him, obviously wanting to be in his arms. They'd only danced together once, years ago and it was during a case. That didn't count, she wanted to dance with him for real, and she was determined to not waste any more time. Afterall, Kate loved to dance and she loved Castle.

The music changed and the woman on stage began to sing another song, one that was familiar to both of them. Castle smiled brightly to her as they walked out onto the dance floor and he pulled her to him.

Chandra spoke, "This song is dedicated to all the new lovers here tonight." Castle and Beckett smiled at one another knowingly, thanks to the woman's words, they now had a song. The smooth melody filled the room and they waited for the woman to begin the sultry, romantic tune.

_**At last, my love has come along.**_

_**My lonely days are over, and life is like a song. **_

_**Oh yeah yeah, at last the skies above are blue.**_

_**My heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you. **_

Their fingers laced together, caressing smoothly as Kate rested her cheek against his. His palm came to rest low on her back, but he was unable to stop himself from caressing the bare skin there. Kate found the back of his neck with her other hand, teasing her fingers through his hair as she sang along to the famous words of Etta James,

_**I found a dream, a dream that I could speak to.**_

_**A dream that I can call my own.**_

_**I found my thrill to press my cheek to. **_

_**A thrill that I have never known.**_

_**Oh yeah you smiled, you smiled, oh and then the spell was cast. **_

_**And here we are in heaven.**_

_** For you are mine, **_

_**At last. **_

Had it been possible, he would have pulled her closer. Instead he brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. Kate responded in kind, pressed sinfully close to him as she brushed his nose with hers.

They were completely oblivious to the world around them, focused only on one another as their lips met. He held her against him firmly, his palm flattened on the lowest part of her bare back. She held him in kind, her fist firmly grasping the hair on the back of his head as she angled him so that their lips met at precisely the right angle.

The heat rose in her cheeks, her breath becoming short as they continued to kiss as if their lives depended on it. A moan caught in the back of her throat as she felt his tongue against hers, tentatively seeking entrance into her mouth. She granted willingly, sighing as the warmth pooling in her stomach became molten hot lava.

In that moment they separated their foreheads rested against each other. They sought to catch their breaths and gain control over their aching bodies. "God Kate. I love you." He spoke to her. She smiled at him, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and biting gently. In that moment she knew, she was ready to say it back.

"Take me home, Rick. Make love to me." She softly spoke, kissing him once more to show him just how much she wanted him.

At first they didn't notice the not-so-subtle throat clearing near them. They were simply too lost in one another. Kate was never one for public displays of affection, but she was completely lost in him, captivated by his taste and his smell, by the feeling of his body pressed so intimately against her own. However, the spell was soon abruptly broken when a familiar, firm voice sounded.

"DETECTIVE BECKETT!"

They broke apart suddenly, gaping in shock as they came face to face with none other than Captain Victoria Gates. Her arms were crossed as she leveled them both with a fierce, disapproving glare.

* * *

**AN: Awwww Snap. ;-) **

**You guys know that picture that is circling the internet? The one of C&B in nothing but his bed sheet (although it sort of looks like she's covering herself with just his pillow), and they look panicked, as if they've just been majorly busted?...yeah, that is sort of what I imagine their faces look like here... **


	3. Chapter 3

It was one of her favorite clubs in the city, and Victoria Gates and her husband had been coming for years. It made perfect sense to them that they would spend their 20th anniversary there. She always enjoyed the atmosphere, and Chandra was always welcoming. On that evening she and John were enjoying a few drinks and the pleasure of one another's company. His law firm had been swamped lately and her job never ended; afterall, criminals never slept. Between the two of them, it was rare to find any time together.

From the darkness of their table she watched the couples dance. It was refreshing to watch the young couples, so committed and so lost in each other. As the song shifted to an Etta James classic, Gates smiled to herself. She took a sip of her vodka tonic and set it back onto the table, looking towards the stage once again. She gasped in surprise when she saw none other than Richard Castle take the dance floor.

It wasn't the fact that Castle was there that he had a date that shocked the captain, but the reality that the woman currently in his arms was her best detective. She watched them move together as if they were the only people in the world. They held to one another as if their lives depended on it, hands caressing and lips grazing.

She felt a bit voyeuristic watching them in such an intimate moment, but they were in public. It seemed to be a fact that was lost on the partners. It wasn't that they were being crude, but it also didn't take a rocket scientist to see how hot and heavy the two were. There was no denying what was unfolding on that dance floor.

In the past months she'd had her suspicions. However, they'd remained professional and gave her no indication that there was anything inappropriate going on between them. Afterall, the NYPD had very strict policies about partners being involved romantically. Those rules most definitely applied to Beckett, and given that she brought her shadow into the field, they applied to him as well. It was simply too dangerous, and Victoria Gates had lost some damn good people due to violations of that policy.

Gates looked around for a moment, determining if they were truly alone. She didn't know who else she would have expected to see afterall. She supposed that she was looking for some source of information that would counter the evidence in front of her. _Perhaps they're here working undercover?_ She rolled her eyes at the thought, knowing that any undercover assignment they would be working would have been authorized by her.

No, the man and woman currently kissing passionately on the dance floor were not acting. She had to put a stop to it before someone else recognized them. This was just the kind of public scandal that the NYPD did not need. She neared the couple and waited for them to notice they had company. However, they remained oblivious to her.

She cleared her throat next, but it still didn't deter them. She heard him speak, "God Kate, I love you." She swallowed uncomfortably and cleared her throat again, a little louder. They continued to move in tandem.

"Beckett." She called. Still no response, they were simply too caught up in the moment.

"Take me home, Rick. Make love to me." She heard her plead with him.

_Enough_, she thought to herself. "DETECTIVE BECKETT!"

They pulled apart abruptly, shock washing over the pair of them as they registered that they had an audience. Gates didn't know what else to say at the moment. She needed time to process it.

Truth be told, she didn't object to them as a couple. Not only did she consider it none of her business, but she thought that they complemented one another well enough to actually _last. _Still, their current situation and their working relationship was not conducive to their obvious romantic involvement.

Her personal opinion didn't matter where they were concerned, there was a reason why personnel policies existed and it was plain to see that these two were wrapped up in each other too much to be rational about much of anything. This was dangerous and something had to change. Sometimes she hated her job.

"I want to see the both of you in my office first thing." With that, she turned and left them on the dance floor.

* * *

They sat on Kate's couch in silence. Castle replayed the scene again and again in his head. If only he hadn't insisted on taking her out. There was a reason that they didn't go out, and this was it. For six months they'd managed to keep things on the down low. They'd been sure to be nothing but professional at work, and to keep their romantic relationship separate.

It wasn't easy to do either, and both were fairly certain that their families suspected something. Still, his mom or daughter did know, they kept their observations to themselves. Neither partner had any desire to press his family, so it remained a non-issue.

Now it was over, and of all the people to discover them, Gates. He couldn't imagine things having gotten any worse. Even if it had been a reporter, they could have claimed that the photos were doctored and that it wasn't actually Kate with him. There was no denying this though, and now it was over.

"Kate, what are we going to do?" He asked, afraid of what she might do. He knew that Beckett wasn't one to be ok with loss of control, and now that their carefully fabricated secret was out, it seemed that all control was lost.

"I don't know, Castle." She replied with a whisper, the sadness evident in her tone.

"What do you think that Gates will do?" He pressed.

"Worst case scenario, you're gone and I'm in some seriously hot water." She answered.

"How serious?" He couldn't help but ask, afraid of the repercussions that their relationship might have on her career.

Kate didn't answer him, but gave him a foreboding look. She didn't want to speculate what was going to happen. "Castle I think I'm going to go to bed, perhaps you should go."

He swallowed his objection. Tonight wasn't the night to press her, and he knew that she was feeling vulnerable enough already. He simply nodded to her, planting a tender kiss on her forehead before pulling away. He grabbed his keys and his coat and made his way for the door.

"Regardless of what happens Kate, I'll never regret this. I love you."

She offered him a small smile and nodded. "I'll see you in the morning, Rick."

* * *

She sat at her desk first thing in the morning, feeling positively nauseous with anxiety. Gates' office was still dark, which wasn't surprising. Her Captain was highly punctual, showing up at 8am every morning, and it was still only 7:30. It was still too early. That hadn't stopped Kate from showing up at the break of dawn. Afterall, she hadn't slept at all the night before and couldn't stand another moment of pacing her apartment.

Her thoughts were racing as she considered what her options would be now. She thought about their relationship, how new it was and was struck again by all the insecurities and misgivings she had about dating him. _I knew this was a bad idea, but I couldn't control myself, s_he berated herself.

Kate knew deep down that all the changes between she and Castle were inevitable. They'd always been moving in this direction. Still, now that they were there, and they'd been found out in the worst possible way, Kate felt like her world was spinning out of control. The worst part was that she knew they stood to lose everything.

She was startled from her thoughts by the coffee cup being firmly set down in front of her. It was far too early for him to be here, but judging from the exhaustion on his face, she figured he hadn't slept either. She smiled at him, grateful for the coffee and for his presence.

She looked down at her coffee, feeling suddenly unsure of herself as she felt his penetrating gaze upon her. Kate knew he wanted answers and she had none to offer, and the tension that was rising between them was making her uncomfortable.

"Kate." He whispered.

She looked up at him, willing him to just be quiet and not push her, but he continued. "Kate, promise me that no matter what happens, we'll stay in this together."

She didn't know what he meant by that. There were many definitions of the word _together_. "Castle, I can't-". He cut her off,

"Kate, all I am asking is that when we make a decision that impacts us, in whatever capacity, that we do it together." She inhaled deeply, nodding her consent.

"Ok." She promised.

* * *

Gates arrived, and after settling in and grabbing herself a cup of coffee, she called Kate into her office. Castle began to follow, but was cut off.

"I want to talk to Beckett, Mr. Castle. Alone." He did not like the sound of that. The last thing he wanted was for Gates to get to Kate before he'd even had the option to speak up. Kate looked to him apologetically, silently urging him to keep quiet and not make matters worse. He nodded to her, taking his seat beside her desk and taking a sip from his coffee cup.

He watched her follow her boss and close the door behind her, trying to suppress the feeling of panic that built within him as he thought about what was going to transpire in that office.

Beckett sat in Gates' office, her boss silent for a few moments as she flipped through a case file in front of her.

"Evans and Messner." Gates finally spoke.

"Excuse me, sir?" Kate questioned.

"Evans and Messner, detective. Have you ever heard of them?" The older woman questioned.

"I'm sorry sir, but no."

"It was before your time, Beckett. Karen Evans and Stephen Messner were partners while I was working over in the 15th. They were in a romantic relationship, but insisted that it wouldn't interfere with their professional judgment." Gates began to explain. "It was kept a secret, but the other members of their team knew about it."

Kate took a breath, understanding where this was all going. She had little choice but to listen to Gates as she continued to speak, "One day, during a routine investigation, Evans let a suspect get the drop on her. She was taken hostage, and Messner, so upset that his partner was in danger, was completely unable to follow protocol." Gates stood and paced her office.

"Had he been objective, he would have adhered to his basic training and known to call for backup, to take stalk of his surroundings, and to _not_ try to negotiate until a professional was called in. However, because he wasn't rational, he tried to reason with the suspect. Things escalated fast, and because Messner didn't take note of his surroundings, he wound up tripping a wire and triggering an explosion. It turns out that the room was rigged to explode and the partners walked directly into a trap. They'd been too distracted to notice the red flags."

She turned back to Kate and lowered her voice, "both partners were killed, along with the suspect and a room full of civilians."

"Sir, I don't think-" she couldn't finish her sentence though, as Gates cut in.

"I know you don't think you would ever let something like that happen, but neither did they. The point is that these policies exist for a reason, and you're simply too valuable to take those types of chances. You carry a large responsibility, for the people you serve, for your team. There is no room for the kinds of mistakes that happen when you're involved with your partner." Gates came back to be seated, her voice softening.

"Look, you're great at what you do, and even I can't deny that Mr. Castle offers a substantial contribution to our clearance rates. I'm keeping this in mind, Kate." She explained.

Beckett was taken aback by the use of her first name, and wasn't sure she was comfortable with where things were going. She continued to listen anyway.

"Because you two make an effective team, I'm willing to offer you a choice. End things now, no more romantic involvement and I will allow you to continue working together." Kate rose her eyebrow at her boss, frankly shocked that there was going to be any option in the matter.

"If you can't do that, then he's gone from my precinct. I can't afford to have you compromised. So, you can have the relationship, or the partnership. I'm sorry, but you can't have both. I urge you to think long and hard about it, Beckett. Take the day and have your decision for me tomorrow." Kate nodded, standing.

As she reached Gates' door, her boss stopped her, "Oh, and Beckett, if you should decide to keep going as you are now. If you decide to remain in a romantic relationship and work together, and I find out about it…He'll be out of here before you know it, and you will be working local campus security for the rest of your career." She leveled Kate with a glare and pointed her finger at her for effect,

"do I make myself clear, detective?"

"Crystal, sir." Kate spoke bluntly, allowing her boss' door to slam shut behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

They sat quietly across from one another in the booth. Kate recounted her conversation with Gates, informing Castle of their ultimatum. While relieved that Kate wasn't in immediate trouble, he was filled with a sense of panic. He couldn't imagine losing ether part of their relationship, but knew that something had to give. Although he knew plainly that he wanted her, he was less certain about Kate's desires.

"Kate, please tell me what you're thinking." He pleaded with her.

She sighed, "I'm thinking that the choice is obvious." He was a little shocked at her words.

"There's nothing even remotely obvious about this. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to help me with this one." He reasoned. It hurt to think that she could arrive at this decision so quickly, and he _knew _what her decision would be.

"Castle. I want…no, I need you in my life." He smiled at her words, suddenly filled with hope. "and if we continue _this" _she spoke, motioning between the two of them, "we stand to lose everything." Her eyes pleaded with him, needed him to understand.

"Please. You're the best partner, the best friend I've ever had. Our relationship is so new. Castle, if it didn't work out, if we didn't work out, we could lose everything. I don't think that I can take that risk."

"Kate, we were taking that risk before. That risk would always have been there." He argued with her.

"Yeah, but Castle, we thought we could have both. Now we have to make a choice. I'm telling you that I don't think I can lose you as my partner." Her eyes watered as she became overwhelmed by emotion at the thought of completely losing him. What if he was taken hostage?

"Kate, I don't know if I can go back. I can't just turn this off." He stated sadly.

"Castle, this shouldn't have happened." He was shocked by her words. They cut right through his heart. "I told you I would never regret it." His voice was shaky, broken. Kate reached out her hand and brushed his cheek tenderly.

"Rick, I will never regret a moment with you. Never." Her voice was breaking too, "but I should have known better. When I came to you I'd resigned, but now things are different. Rick, you could get seriously hurt or killed and I can't let that happen. Gates is right, we can't be involved if we work together."

"Just like that, Kate? You can choose just like that?" He couldn't keep the bitter tone from his voice.

"Damnit Rick, you tried to take a bullet for me last year. You can't do things like that! How would I live with that? How would I tell your mom, Alexis?" She needed him to understand, her voice was much lower and weaker when she added, "I can't live without you. We can't do this."

"Kate, I tried to save you before we were sleeping together. Don't you see? We're already in this. We've been in this for years. How much do you really think our not having sex is going to change things at this point? " He insisted.

She nodded, "I know. I know we're involved. That's why we need to put a stop to it before it is too late. I'd rather have my partner than nothing at all." She reasoned with him, ignoring the voice in her head telling her _it's already too late._

"Why are you so certain that we wouldn't work, Kate?"

"I'm not certain, Castle. I don't know what would happen, but I DO know that we work as partners. I DO know that I need to be able to see you each day, and I need to have you beside me. I DO know that."

He let out a defeated breath, causing her to throw another question at him. "What about you, Rick? You say that this job brings meaning for you. You say that the impact we make on victim's lives, the justice we bring matters. Are you willing to give that all up on a chance that maybe we _might _work?"

He didn't respond. He couldn't. She was right. Still, he would always chose her, _Always._ They were put in an impossible situation, and it wasn't a choice he was prepared to make.

"So that's it. Just partners again?" He didn't try to hide the hurt in his voice, as she didn't try to hide the devastation on her face. She simply nodded.

"I'm going to miss you, Kate. I'm going to miss you at night. I'm going to miss being able to touch you." He placed his hand on top of hers. She didn't pull away, but turned her head away in attempt to gain control of her emotions. She didn't want to cry, this was hard enough already.

"I'm going to miss you too, so much." Her voice was high-pitched. It hurt, but she knew she was making the right decision. Afterall, she reasoned to herself, no matter how mind-blowing it was, the sex wasn't worth losing everything with him.

* * *

She sat on the couch, unable to move from her spot as he gathered the few things that he'd left at her place in the past months. It was the strangest feeling in the world, they were breaking up without breaking up. They were separating, but not fighting. Still, she felt her heart breaking in two as he gathered his few things.

She didn't want to lose the small reminders of him in her apartment, she didn't want to miss the lingering smell of him in her bed. For the millionth time that day, Kate second-guessed her decision. She knew that he would support her, regardless of what she chose, and that made it even harder.

It was as if they were both being sentenced to limbo. She knew that they couldn't be together, but that neither would be able to move on for some time. An ultimatum wasn't going to change the fact that they were in love. What was the point? She wondered to herself.

Castle dropped the box of his things by the door and turned back to her. He remained silent for a moment, but stared at her intently. It was obvious that he had something on his mind.

"Kate. If we have to give Gates a decision tomorrow, that at least means that we've got tonight, right?" His eyes were wide and pleading. He was asking her for just one more night. She stood, knotting her fists into the front of her shirt.

"One last night." She spoke, agreeing with him. One more night to help them cope, to capture the memories and savor one another. She extended her arm, inviting him to come back to her.

"Let's make the most of it, Rick." There was a sad desperation in her voice.

They both knew that tonight would be special; that it would contain all the love they felt, all the love that they would no longer be able to express. He approached her, bringing his palm to rest against her cheek. Leaning into his touch, she brought her hand up and intertwined their fingers.

"Can we make time stop?" He whispered as he leaned into her lips.

"We can try." She answered, speaking softly against him as he moved to close the final distance between them.

* * *

**AN: So I know what they're trying to do is impossible, and YOU know what they're trying to do is impossible. Still, they're going to struggle as they figure it out for themselves. The next chapter will most definitely be rated M.**


	5. Chapter 5

She pulled back from his embrace, offering him a soft smile. He felt himself filled with so much love that he nearly ached with it. She pulled his hand to her lips, planting a firm kiss on his palm before letting go and moving to turn the lights off.

Catching her cue, Castle followed suit, allowing the apartment to fall into darkness momentarily. He followed her into the bedroom, removing his clothing as he watched her light several candles. The flames cast an ethereal glow about the room, the flicker of the gold light dancing across Kate's features as she slowly began to unbutton her blouse.

Rick found himself with an irrepressible urge to fly to her, to touch her and to make her his. Yet, as she slowly crossed the room, one agonizing step at a time, he found himself fixated and unable to move at all. He swallowed a moan, reaching out to her and waiting for her to take his hand.

She came to where he stood, taking the hand he offered and brushing her lips across his fingertips. Their eyes met and in that moment, they both knew, truly understood that this was the last time. It took all of his power not to cry as she turned his palm and laid it against her bare chest, directly over her heart. Her eyes closed as he began to move, caressing her bare skin slowly.

She inhaled sharply, losing herself in the sensation of his touch as his fingers ghosted slowly and gently across her skin. She closed the distance between them, leaning her head against his shoulder as he continued to touch her. She inhaled his familiar scent and began to line kisses along his neck, relishing in the taste of him.

In that moment, Kate second guessed everything. Sure the job was important, but in that moment wrapped in his arms and deliciously pressed against him, she was sure that she had what really mattered. Still, she knew that to prolong it would create an even more painful circumstance. No, Kate was determined to stop thinking and just feel.

He led her to the bed, allowing her to fall back and scoot towards her pillows as he moved to follow. She had difficulty catching her breath as she was filled with anticipation for his touch. He always seemed to have the ability to make her feel complete when he pressed himself against her, filling her body, as well as her soul.

He kneeled on the bed, slowly making his way up the mattress to where she lay waiting for him. Their eyes were locked and she swore that she wouldn't have been able to avert her gaze even if she'd wanted to. The pull between them was all-consuming, and soon nothing else in the world mattered. Kate's entire universe narrowed to revolve only around his touch, and the feeling of his bare skin pressed deliciously against her own.

She let out a moan, slowly brushing her fingers across his upper arms as he began to trail kisses along her neck. Her breath hitched when she felt his fingers, purposive and demanding as they pushed her legs apart to give him access to the most intimate parts of her. Kate found herself painfully torn between wanting to prolong this moment of desire and needing to feel him inside of her.

Soon the ache deep within her body overwhelmed the desires of her heart and she grasped him firmly, guiding him to her entrance and urging him to move.

It began achingly slow, both wanting to prolong their union as much as possible. He moved against her and within her, rhythmically stroking while using care to touch her in just the way to draw her pleasure out. Breathlessly they climbed, higher and higher. They were still unable to take their eyes off of each other, needing to reinforce the physical act of intimacy with the emotional connection that they both desperately needed.

Soon the pleasure became too much, their bodies winding more tightly with the incredible sensations evoked by each stroke. Their rhythm became erratic as they moved faster and deeper, working themselves into a frenzy of pleasure until they had no choice but to let go and fall over the edge.

Moments later he moved to roll off of her, but was stilled by her insistent arms holding him in place. "No, Rick. Don't leave yet. Stay inside me awhile longer."

So he did, burying his face into the crook of her neck as their sweat-covered bodies dried and their breathing returned to normal. Despite the fact that they knew it would have to be the last time, it was also the first time she fell asleep with him still inside of her.

They shifted apart in the night, but came back together again and again. Each time they tenderly but passionately found each other, savoring the night, willing the hours to slow as they made the most of their time together. Soon it was light, and with the new day came a goodbye to _them_.

That morning, Castle awoke to find himself alone in her bed. It was the first, he'd figured, of many mornings alone. Afterall, he knew that he wouldn't be moving on anytime soon; and if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that she wouldn't either.

* * *

Gates arrived that morning to find Beckett working alone at her desk. She smiled to herself briefly, relieved to see that Castle was not there. She figured that Kate would choose her romantic relationship over the partnership. Truth be told, she knew perfectly well that there really wasn't a choice. There was no way the lovers she saw on the dance floor would ever be capable of rationality in the field. However, forcing Castle out of the precinct would have opened a can of worms that she wanted to avoid at all costs.

It was obvious to Gates that the two were in love, but she also supposed that her team did not know. She could only figure that great lengths had been gone to in order to protect their secret. The last thing Gates wanted to do was reveal their relationship and threaten Beckett's professional reputation. Afterall, Kate Beckett was very much like she was in her younger years, and a scandal could make or break a woman in the NYPD.

No, Gates knew all too well that if she'd forced Castle out he would simply have thrown his clout with the mayor back in her face. It would have forced her hand and Beckett's career would have been a casualty. This way, Gates figured, Castle and Beckett would feel that they made the choice. It was the best of both worlds, Castle was finally out, and Beckett's career would remain intact. Still, there were major flaws in her reasoning, starting with the fact that she couldn't deny how much of an asset Richard Castle was to the 12th. Truth be told, she wasn't sure his leaving was a good idea at all.

Still, she would not tolerate her men being in unnecessary danger if the partners could not function professionally. Gates sighed, grabbing her mug and making her way to the break room for her morning dose of caffeine. She was stirring the cream into her coffee when she looked up to find the man she'd just been thinking about sitting in her precinct, beside Beckett as usual. _Oh you've got to be kidding me!_ Gates thought to herself, making her way to her best detective's desk.

"Mr. Castle, you're here." It was a statement, but the question in her tone couldn't be masked.

They both looked up at her nonchalantly, Kate speaking in a controlled voice, "What you witnessed the other evening will not happen again, sir. It will not be an issue."

Gates pursed her lips. Nodding while trying to figure out what she was going to do with the two of them,

"Very well." She paused for a moment before adding, "Mr. Castle, you are allowed to attend crime scenes and you are allowed to assist in my precinct. However, no field work and no take downs of any kind." She then made her way back to her office.

"Excuse me, but WHAT?" Kate asked incredulously. She seemed to forget her place as she yelled at her boss. They did exactly what she asked, and now she was still placing restrictions on their partnership. It made no sense to Beckett.

"Do you have a problem, detective?" Gates shot back at her authoritatively.

"Yes! Did you not hear us? We did as you told, we made our decision." She didn't feel the need to mention that she and Castle had been having sex less than 4 hours ago, several times in fact.

Gates looked around the precinct, assuring herself that nobody was close enough to hear, "Detective Beckett, what I saw was completely inappropriate and you chose to not reveal it, to me, to the colleagues who put their lives on the line with you, or to human resources. Consider yourself lucky that I didn't throw the both of you out." She took a breath, calming herself before she continued.

"Now, you may continue to work together in _my_ precinct, but no field work until you can prove to me that you are reliable and focused in your decisions."

She left the partners gaping at her, slamming her door in her wake and letting out an exasperated sigh. _Now what the hell am I going to do with them? _She thought to herself. Perhaps she should have anticipated that Beckett might have chosen the partnership, especially given how dedicated the detective was to her job. Still, she was so sure based on what she'd seen. The two were clearly in love.

The captain sat at her desk and contemplated what would be done with the partners currently seated in her precinct. There was one thing that was certain of, things were considerably more complicated than Gates preferred.

* * *

**AN: Things are going to get a whole lot more complicated for our dear captain when a special request comes down from the powers that be for an undercover assignment featuring none other than our dynamic duo. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I haven't forgotten; just want to finish my stories one at a time. This one doesn't look to end any time soon, but should be fun. A little angst, but mostly sexual tension, romance and humor. **

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

* * *

Victoria Gates did not like being made the fool. Yet, as she sat behind her desk she could only describe her emotional state as foolish. Never in a million years would she have imagined that Kate would have chosen the job. That she would have chosen her partnership with Castle over her romantic relationship with him.

She was no idiot, and she well understood that stating they were not in a relationship anymore was a far cry from platonic. No, the issue of distractions and emotional involvement was still there. Yet with the partners back to only partners, she had very little claim to toss him out now. _You can toss him out anytime you want to. _Gates admitted to herself, _You just don't want to because he's good for your team and he's good for clearance rate._ She acknowledged that this was the crux of her dilemma, she hated to admit it, but she needed Castle.

She also knew that her refusal to allow Castle into the field would be short-lived. It was only a matter of time before some higher power was knocking on her door, informing her that the writer should be given full access to New York's finest once again. _He's had plenty access to New York's finest_, she couldn't help but think. The sad part was that at the end of the day, Gates thought Castle and Beckett were great together. She rubbed her temples in frustration as she thought about the sticky situation at hand.

_It isn't like they can just turn their feelings off_, she thought. _But those feelings have been there a while and they've worked remarkably well through them, _came her internal dispute. _In reality, what has changed? _Gates was conflicted.

She didn't have much time to think on the matter though, as she was interrupted from her thoughts by a pounding on the door. Mayor Weldon entered and made himself comfortable upon her invitation. _Well, that didn't take long, _She thought wryly to herself.

"Captain Gates! I'm needing a little favor and I know just the two to help me out." The mayor began.

"Whatever the city can do to help, Mayor Weldon, I'm sure we will be happy to do." Gates pandered.

"My first assistant's cousin was killed two weeks ago under mysterious circumstances." He explained somberly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Gates offered.

"Yes, well. The thing is that the young man and his wife were both killed on their honeymoon," He paused for effect but continued , "and they are not the only couple to die in this manner. Two other couples have all died under mysterious circumstances as well."

"Yes! I remember hearing about that!" She commented, "who has jurisdiction over that?" She asked, not liking where this was going."

"It's a gray area." Weldon admitted, brushing her question off as if it were an unimportant detail.

"So how can we help you?" Gates questioned.

"Well, I've been able to get a team on the investigation, and they've identified a bridal company that links all three couples. There is a fourth couple setting sail on Monday for the Bahamas, and we'd really like eyes on these two. Not only for protection, but we'd like to catch these people in action.

Gates nodded, "I can give you Steger and Karpowski for the week if that's what you need…"

"Captain Gates," The mayor interrupted, "I was thinking about something a little more inconspicuous. Afterall, this is a lover's cruise. I was thinking that maybe my man Castle and detective Beckett could offer their skills." He grinned widely, attempting to use his clout and charm to sway the captain.

"You're wanting me to send my best detective on an undercover assignment, on a cruise ship, with a writer for backup." Gates deadpanned.

"Backup is up to you, I'm just asking that you consider Mr. Castle and detective Beckett for the job." He leveled her with his stare, making no attempt to disguise is blatant use of power,

"will that be a problem?" He pressed.

"No sir. No problem." Gates admitted begrudgingly.

* * *

They sat around the Murder Board where Gates ordered them to gather. Esposito and Ryan were leaning against their desks as they watched Gates work a new case. Castle and Beckett were both relaxed against the back of her desk, their hands brushing unconsciously. When Kate noticed the contact she shifted away quickly, attempting to regain composure. Her heart began to race, _God just touching him does this to me_. _How am I going to do this?_ She wondered hopelessly to herself. She missed him already, and was intensely aware of his presence, his smell; She craved it.

"This is the Wingate Hotel." Gates explained as she stuck a photograph on the board. Beckett forced herself to focus on the case at hand. Three murders have occurred in connection with this hotel and Royal Bahamas Cruise-lines."

"We know that all three of our couples got married at this hotel, using wedding packages provided by them, complete with honeymoon cruises." Gates elaborated.

"That is the way to go when you get married," Ryan chimed in, "It saves so much headache to have everything handled by one company: the cake, the catering, the photography, the musician…." He looked around and hesitated, "and you don't care." He came to the realization as he took the blank stares of his colleagues in.

Gates continued as if Ryan hadn't interrupted. "All three murdered couples married at the Wingate, and all cruised to the Bahamas. Yet, we've not been able to identify a single suspect."

"The Tolmans." Gates spoke as she placed the first photograph up. Became very ill half way through their trip and were treated at a hospital in the Bahamas. It was determined that they'd eaten something bad while on an excursion and there was nothing to be done for them.

"The Bradentons" Gates moved on to the next couple, "were cliff diving when the equipment malfunctioned. The cruise line holds no responsibility because they were once again, off the boat and on an excursion when it happened.

"The Millers were different, as they were killed on the boat." She placed their photo on the murder board, "Plus, he was a close and personal friend of the Mayor." Gates motioned to the deceased male in the photo.

"It would appear that the happy couple wasn't happy, as on night three of their honeymoon he shot her and then turned the gun on himself. Given the circumstances, and the other murders foul play is suspected. Dr. Parish is taking a closer look at the gunshot wounds, we want to confirm that his was actually self-inflicted and not staged."

"So what does this have to do with us, sir? " Beckett questioned. The Atlantic Ocean was not exactly in their jurisdiction, nor was the Wingate Hotel.

"All three couples got married at the Wingate and all three died from unnatural causes on the 3rd night of their honeymoon. Now, we've gotten word that another couple has just gotten married. They set out for the Bahamas on Monday and _Mayor Weldon_ wants you to join them." She was sure to emphasize the powerful man's role.

Given that he was friends with the man, Castle glanced guiltily from Gates to Beckett.

Four pairs of eyes shot up at her.

"Excuse me, sir? Us?" Beckett stuttered.

"Yes. The mayor has requested that you two go _undercover_ as a couple." She motioned between them, the double meaning of _undercover_ not lost on them "Will that be a problem?" She leveled Kate with a knowing glare.

"No sir." She spoke, an equal amount of bitterness in her expression.

"Ya'll have fun now." Esposito teased.

"Yeah, don't do anything I wouldn't do." Ryan chimed in.

"Oh, no." Gates interjected, "You're both going too. I'm not sending them in without backup." _Or supervision_, Kate thought.

"But I thought it was a couples only cruise?" Esposito asked.

"Well, they are very liberal and open-minded about couples." Gates offered, allowing her insinuation to set in. With that, she made her way to her office.

The full meaning of their assignment set in and at the boys spoke "oh hell no!" in unison.


	7. Chapter 7

**I enjoy your reviews! Current Beckett, the one who just gave the best Valentines present EVER, may be beyond this. Yet, there is fun in showing _this_ Kate the error of her ways! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them!**

* * *

The universe was conspiring against her. Surely it was. How else could she explain her current predicament? It was all so fresh, so raw. She could still smell him in her bed, her body was still reeling from his touch. When Kate Beckett made the decision to step away from their romantic relationship she had done so with a set rationale. She loved him and she couldn't lose him. _If you love him why would you walk away? She berated herself. __Because I couldn't bear to become another ex if things didn't work out._

Somehow, according to Kate's distorted logic, in order to guarantee keeping him in her life she had to push him away. She knew he was not happy with the decision, but that he loved her enough to respect it. She hated herself a little for what she'd put him through.

The problem was this damned assignment. Never in their partnership had they been tasked with such a major undertaking. Sure they'd done some undercover work from time to time, but this was a full-scale, multi-day operation. Kate continued to ruminate as she packed her bags that evening.

"Be discrete, be on your guard." Gates had urged, turning her attention to Ryan and Esposito she then added, "and make sure you have their backs." She paced for a moment before she added,

"Above all else, be professional." She directed her last comment to Castle and Beckett and they both knew it.

To add insult to injury, Kate was fairly certain that Ryan and Esposito still had no idea about their relationship; or whatever it was that they now had. _So_, she thought sardonically to herself, _we're in love, pretending not to be in love for the boys, while we go undercover and pretend we're in love on the damn boat. _The cyclical thinking was giving her a headache so Kate shifted her attention to preparing herself for things to come.

She'd only been on one other cruise in her life, but as she recalled the rooms were very small. To call it cramped was an understatement, and she was going to be sharing those close quarters with the one person that she desperately needed space from. She didn't want space from him, but she knew she needed it.

Kate sighed as she threw her bathing suit, pajamas, a few sun dresses, sunglasses and sunscreen into her bag. If she was going to play the part she would have to look the part. She moved to her closet to select a nicer dress and heels, knowing that they would most likely need it.

_Ok. We just need to get on the boat, catch the killer, and get off the boat. _She thought to herself, attempting a little pep talk to get her going. _Maybe we'll get lucky and catch the killer before sunset._ Her brain optimistically offered. _Maybe not. _The reality of the situation countered.

It was bound to be a very long week.

* * *

Just as she'd suspected, the room was quite small. Castle had offered to upgrade them to a bigger room, a suite, but it would have required relocating to a part of the boat where Ryan and Esposito had minimal access. In their current room the other detectives could stay next door. Given how thin the walls were, they were bound to hear if anything went wrong.

Kate swallowed nervously as she considered the single bed in the center of their room. Castle tried his best to ignore it for the time being, "At least we have a window!" He offered somewhat optimistically.

"Yeah, that offers us a lovely view of the ocean." Kate countered sarcastically. Their room was below sea level, so when she said ocean, she didn't mean the skyline, she meant the dark and cloudy depths of the sea. They could see very little out of the tiny circular glass that was a poor excuse for a window.

"But look, Kate, it's a towel puppy!" He offered again, moving to sit on the bed and play with the decoration that the staff left. He saw her startled expression when he sat. _Oh, _he thought, he'd gone to the one part of the room they had been desperately trying to ignore. Kate looked flustered.

"I'm going upstairs. I think there's supposed to be some sort of safety drill." With that she was gone.

_This is going to be a very long trip. _Castle thought to himself as he sighed, laying back on the bed. It was quite comfortable, but small enough that he was sure there was no way they could both sleep without touching. A week ago they would have been happy for the excuse to cuddle. Now it was just torture.

He heard the knock before the door opened, "Yo." Esposito walked in, Ryan following closely behind. They were both dressed in tropical shirts and looked somewhat uncomfortable. Given the close quarters he was going to be sharing with Beckett, he couldn't imagine the awkwardness that had transpired in the boys' room.

"You guys settle in nice and cozy?" Castle teased them.

"At least Javi won't shoot me if I roll over too close in the night." Ryan countered with a satisfied grin on his face.

"Don't count on it, bro." Esposito muttered to Ryan.

Castle frowned at the insinuation behind the statement about Beckett's gun. He was filled with regret once again over the fact that he could no longer freely touch Kate. He knew it was ridiculous to assume that they could work together and not be more than partners. He also knew that Kate was struggling with that reality, along with her own fear and insecurity. Truth be told, he was waiting, hoping for her to come to the same conclusion. He wanted to move on from this, and he wanted to do it with her.

If he could be with her he would walk away from the precinct in a heartbeat. It would be difficult and he would miss the day to day, but solving crimes was nothing compared to being able to share his life, the rest of his life, with Kate. She was _it_ for him.

"Where is she?" Esposito asked, bringing Castle back from his thoughts.

"She went upstairs; something about a drill." He answered.

"You know those are mandatory, right?" Ryan mentioned as he turned back to the door, preparing to make his exit.

"Yeah, well I'll take my chances down here." Castle muttered, turning onto his side and facing the wall. He needed a few minutes to collect himself and wasn't ready to see Kate quite yet.

"What's his problem?" Esposito whispered to Ryan as they moved to join Beckett on deck. His partner answered him with a confused shrug as they made their way to the elevators of the large ship.

* * *

"Castle." He shifted when heard her voice, making himself more comfortable.

"Rick." He heard her voice again, opening his eyes and blinking the sleep away.

"Castle, it's nearly dinner time. You fell asleep." Kate was leaning over him, her face close enough to his that he could easily catch her lips with his own. He fought the urge to do so as he cleared his mind. She was clearly on the same page, as she pulled back suddenly, allowing him the space to sit up and stretch.

She moved to the closet and began talking as she sorted through her things, "You missed the drill." She admonished him. He simply rubbed the sleep from his eyes, checking his watch to gauge how long he'd napped.

"I met our couple, they're in the room across from us. They seem nice enough. I've invited them to dinner." Kate spoke as she pulled a dress from the closet, unbuttoning and removing her blouse and kicking off her shoes as she spoke. She paused suddenly, caught off guard by the fact that she had just stripped in front of Castle.

He simply stared at her longingly, making no effort to hide his desire. _Oh hell_, Beckett thought. It had become such a habit that she hadn't thought twice about taking her clothes off in his presence. She moved quickly to the bathroom, shutting herself in to finish changing clothing.

"It's ok Kate. I've seen everything before." He called. She could hear the regret in his voice.

"Shhh." She spoke as she came out of the bathroom seconds later, having pulled the dress over her head and kicked her pants off from underneath.

"The boys are next door and these walls are like paper." She reasoned with him. He nodded and moved from the bed, smoothing his own shirt with his hands. He watched for a minute as Kate struggled with the zipper on the back of her dress. Finally, he moved to where she stood and pushed her hands out of the way. Slowly, he moved the zipper up her back.

She could feel the tingles spreading like wild fire as his fingertips grazed her skin. She couldn't control the shiver that her body gave and was quite certain Castle felt it too. Afterall, he knew her body nearly as well as she did. The tension rose between them as she struggled to catch her breath. Every fiber of her being was screaming for him to unzip the dress again and forget this foolish idea of putting their partnership first.

She could feel his breath on her neck, her head involuntary leaning forward to offer him more access. She desperately wanted to turn around, to touch him, to taste him. _How is it possible that I need him this much already?_ She wondered to herself as her body involuntarily leaned back towards his.

She had little time to contemplate it, because in the next instant he was gone. "I'm going to get some air." He offered before he left her standing alone in their room, an unfilled need rising within her. _God, I love him. Did I make a mistake? _She second-guessed herself for what felt like the hundredth time.

One thing was for sure, at this rate she wasn't going to last long.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapters post as I write them. I write them as time permits :) Enjoy **

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

* * *

"The Craines" Ryan whispered into Castle's ear as they made their way to dinner, "Just married at the Wingate." He nodded as he stepped next to Beckett, the four of them entering the elevator to ride up to the formal dining room.

"Robert Craine is a medical doctor who just finished his residency at Manhattan Hospital." Ryan continued to fill the partners in on the information he'd been given. .

"Melanie, his wife, is an elementary school teacher. She works in the upper West Side." He finished.

"They seem like a sweet couple, and are very happy to finally have tied the knot." Esposito added.

Castle smiled, recalling the excitement he'd felt after getting married. Unfortunately for him, it was always short lived. He looked at the stunning woman standing beside him currently and sighed. He was sure that it wouldn't be doomed this time, she was _the one_, and he knew that they would make it last. _If only she'd give me the chance to show her. _

"You two better get into character fairly quickly, I'm not sold that you're as madly in love as you're supposed to be." Esposito stated flatly, having picked up on the tension that currently existed between the partners.

"What about the two of you?" Kate shot back, "fresh from a civil ceremony or what?"

"For a true bromance, I imagine you'd stand closer." Castle quipped.

"Oh, don't you worry about it." Ryan stated with a mild arrogance. "We got this." He placed his hand on Esposito's shoulder, earning himself a shove and a glare.

"Dude, the elevator isn't opened yet." Javi shot, stepping away from his partner.

Beckett smirked at the antics of her boys, but the smile was quickly wiped from her face when the elevator doors opened and she could feel the large warm palm of her partner burning a hole into her lower back.

* * *

Robert and Melanie were indeed sweet, and incredibly excited about the notion of having dinner with the famous author Richard Castle.

"We had no idea you two were a couple." Melanie stated excitedly once she saw Castle. She was pleasant to Kate during the drill, but it didn't click that she was the inspiration for Nikki Heat until she saw her with the writer.

"Don't worry" Robert stated, "We'll keep it on the down low that you're here. Besides, they're pretty clear in letting people know that celebrities aren't to be disturbed while sailing." Castle smiled politely while Kate couldn't resist rolling her eyes.

"His _celebrity_ doesn't come up that much." She deadpanned, earning herself a glare.

He put his arm around her and planted an open-mouthed kiss on her neck, causing her to tense up immediately. Any further quip she may have had was promptly silenced by his movement. He couldn't help but smile with satisfaction.

"So, how did the two of you become a couple?" Melanie asked, highly intrigued to learn the real story of their relationship.

"I wore her down." Castle smiled as he stated. "She resisted at first, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right hun?" He figured that sticking with the truth would keep them out of trouble. It was less to remember.

Kate simply stared at him blankly, clearly trying to mask her discomfort with how personal he was being while working the case. They could work undercover without dredging up so much discomfort. Or at least Kate thought they could.

"Yeah, but how did it finally happen?" Ryan added with a smirk on his face, clearly having fun with their predicament. "I've been reading your books for years and am dying to know how you made the incredible Nikki Heat fall in love with you."

Ryan and Esposito were glad that Kate had gotten the brunt of the media attention from Nikki Heat, as nobody seemed any the wiser regarding the true identity of the boys.

"Well…" Castle began, ready to tell their story, when Kate interjected.

"He asked me to dinner about a year ago, and I finally said yes. The rest is history." She wanted to keep their private lives private, and was highly aware that Ryan and Esposito were listening very intently. The lie prompted Castle to remove his arm from around her shoulder, masking the movement as an attempt to straighten his napkin out.

"Well, you make an adorable couple." Melanie offered.

"So," Kate began, eager to shift the conversation" congratulations on your marriage," She motioned to their matching set of rings, "tell me about your wedding."

It prompted exactly what Beckett hoped for, information about their case. They went into great detail about the Wingate Hotel. They spoke of the story of their wedding. They discussed flowers, music, people involved and the romance of it all. They were eager to share, pulling out their phones to show pictures. They smiled through the conversation, gathering what detail they could.

"Do I detect a wedding in your future?" Robert asked Castle pointedly.

"Well…" He said, grasping Kate's hand, "If I can finally convince her to let go and trust me. If she would believe that I'm her one and done, and that some things are worth fighting for…I'd head to the alter right now." He stared at her meaningfully, putting Kate on the spot.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, momentarily forgetting that they were on a case, forgetting that they were undercover and that the boys were watching. She leaned into him and placed a kiss to his lips, parting hers slightly and tasting him. Both of their hearts seemed to synchronize, time seemed to stop as they once again connected.

When she pulled back there was a strong ache within her and she knew that he wasn't speaking from anywhere but his heart. Richard Castle was making it clear that he was still hers for the taking, and every cell of her body urged her to do just that.

It took everything in Kate's power to not run from the table, she took a long sip of her wine in order to try gaining control of her emotions. Re-filling her glass, she managed to gain some semblance of normalcy. Kate longed for someone to change the subject and Melanie helped her out.

"So how did the two of you meet?" The young woman directed her attention to the boys, clearly showing her comfort and acceptance of their lifestyle choice.

Grateful for the shift of subject matter, both Castle and Beckett turned to look at the boys, eager to hear their story.

"Yes." Kate added coyly, "I'm very interested to know how you two fell in love. So spill." She let out the breath she'd been holding. She hated how he'd disarmed her so quickly, hated how he struck her core so easily. With another deep breath, Kate reached once again for her wine glass.

* * *

Ryan was embarrassingly detailed with his account of their love story, with a nearly Shakespearean drama to their romance. The star-crossed Latino fell for the handsome Irishman immediately, and there was no averting destiny.

Espositio looked like he wanted to punch something, but was wordless during most of the conversation.

"You must be the strong, silent type." Castle quipped at one point to mess with the detective, earning him a look that seemed polite on the surface, but spoke volumes of threat to those who knew him well. It spoke, "I'm a veteran who can kill you in your sleep."

It didn't deter Castle, who went on " when you meet the one, you just know". He spoke meaningfully. Kate remained ominously quiet.

* * *

By the time they got back to their room Kate was slightly tipsy, although not too far gone for good judgment, she figured. She reasoned that she wasn't too intoxicated to do her job. The alcohol just took the edge off a bit and helped her to deal with her close proximity to Castle.

Their dinner had set her on edge. He had done such a great job convincing the world how perfect they were for one another that she had trouble remembering her reasons why they weren't. The confusion she now felt, and the line he'd crossed only served to piss her off.

They were quiet once they returned to the privacy of their own room, the tension once again high. Sleeping arrangements weren't discussed and Kate didn't feel like speaking. With the alcohol running through her blood she was feeling hot and bothered. Hot, bothered and pissed off, she tried to unzip her dress.

She stilled when she felt his hands on her once again, unzipping the back of the garment. Instead of holding it against her body, Kate let it fall. She could hear his gasp of surprise at her, but he remained still and quiet. He was close enough for her to feel his breath, hot and moist against the back of her neck. Still feeling the effects of her irritation and confusion, Kate simply unhooked her bra and slipped out of her panties, never speaking.

The silence was broken suddenly with his grunt of surprise when she turned suddenly on him, shoving him against the wall and pressing her body against his. She ripped at the front of his button up shirt as she pillaged his mouth with her tongue.

Neurons in his brain were rapidly misfiring as his body responded to the feel of hers, hot, ready and naked. He was finally moved to motion when he felt her hand cup him firmly. She made no attempt to disguise what she wanted from him in that moment.

"Kate," he mumbled against her mouth, his hands grasping her hips. He held her with desperation, caught between trying to keep her close and back her up.

"Kate, what are you doing?" He questioned her.

"What do you think I'm doing?" She shot back at him, reaching her hand into his pants to grab and stroke him expertly.

"I know what you're doing, Kate. My question is why?" He pleaded with her to stop before he lost the ability to think. It was taking everything he had to not push her onto the bed and bury himself inside her, again and again until they were both mindless with ecstasy.

"Well obviously you want to Fuck, Castle." She shot at him, "after your little show at dinner tonight."

She pulled back enough for him to see the mix of lust and anger in her eyes, just barely masking the confusion and hurt. "You're my one and done?" She shot at him, "The heart wants what the heart wants?" She yelled again.

"I just figured if you wanted this so badly, I might as well give it to you." She kissed him again fiercely, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. "So where do you want to do it? The bed? The shower? It's a pretty small room, Castle." She spoke hotly.

Finally getting a grip on himself, he grabbed her wrists and pushed her off of him.

"Kate stop. Just stop and listen to me. You know I didn't say that to get you into bed. You know me better than that." He shot at her.

"Then why the hell are you doing this Castle?" She shouted at him. "You say you respect my decision? Then you pull a stunt like that? You say those words to me? In front of the boys?"

"That was no stunt, Kate. You know better than that!" He shot back, his voice rising.

"You know I love you, Kate. You know I love you... and you just expect me to back off!" His voice broke, but his anger was ever present.

"I honor your choice because I believe that you'll come to your senses. I stand by your side and do my job, not expecting anything more because I believe that we are right for each other. I believe that you will see that, Kate." He was shouting now, desperation in his voice.

"And you expect me to just take you against a wall like it is meaningless between us? You want a quick FUCK in the Shower?" He was on the verge of tears.

"How callous do you think I am, Kate?"

"Castle, Rick…I…" She began, but found no words.

"You know what, Kate. I love you. I love you, and you know that." He stared her down for a moment before adding,

"Figure out what you need to, but don't you ever, EVER think that what we have can be reduced to a quick Fuck."

With his final words he slammed the door, leaving her standing in the dark of their room, naked, confused and ashamed of herself.

* * *

He slept in a sun chair on deck, not able to bring himself to see her. After sunrise he made his way to the dining room, ordering himself an omelet and coffee, sipping on orange juice as he read the paper alone. Several minutes passed before he felt a presence beside him.

He raised his eyes from the paper upon hearing Esposito clear his throat. The look of pity on the detective's face told him that the argument between he and Kate was heard clearly through the thin walls of their stateroom.

"Hey man." Espo spoke as he sat down, ordering himself breakfast. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Castle offered, stirring his coffee absent-mindedly.

"How did it happen?" the detective asked softly, pressing Castle for details.

"Which part? How did we get together or how did we break up?" Upon hearing the confirmation of their relationship, Esposito sighed.

"Did you know?" Castle asked.

"I suspected, but we've all suspected for years." He offered, "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

Esposito poured himself a cup of coffee, pausing to add, "It's pretty awesome that you stuck around though."

Castle shrugged, "It just ended. Maybe I was fooling myself to believe that she would come to her senses." He quieted abruptly when he saw Kate and Ryan walking towards them. She looked exhausted and ashamed, but said very little as she sat next to him. Ryan took his seat across from Kate.

She turned her mug upright and poured herself a cup of steaming coffee from the pitcher on her table, mixing cream without a sound.

"I'm going to go hit the buffet." Ryan offered, eager to escape the tension only moments after sitting down.

"I'll join you, bro." Esposito added as he stood, leaving Castle and Beckett alone.

A few moments passed as Kate continued to prepare her coffee, Castle pretending to read the newspaper.

"Where did you sleep?" She asked finally.

"I found a chair on deck." He offered, not looking at her. There was no anger in his voice, only resignation.

She was silent again for a few moments before she started,

"Castle, I'm so sor"…

"Detective Kate Beckett?" a waiter approached her.

"yes?" She answered, curious that someone could identify her so easily.

"You have a phone call, ma'am."

Kate put her coffee cup down and rose from the table. Offering Castle an apologetic squeeze to the shoulder as she once again put her job above their relationship.

He watched her walk away sadly, unsure of how much longer he would have the strength to go on as they were. There was only so much he could take before he knew it would be time to walk away.

* * *

**AN: For as low as I take them, there will be an equal high. Patience will result in fluff. **


	9. Chapter 9

_So I know that I said that patience would result in fluff, but I never anticipated another long break in writing. My work life has taken over my personal life and as a result no non-academic writing has gotten done. I'll try better in the future. I miss writing for fun. _

_Here is a brief synopsis to catch everyone up: _

**Castle and Beckett were caught dating by Gates and given an ultimatum… the job or their romantic relationship. Kate, afraid to lose everything, wants to go back to being partners. She's afraid to lose him completely, so she chooses what she believes carries less risk. **

**A string of murders have taken place, all couples that were married at the same hotel and honeymooning on the same cruise ship. There is another newlywed couple getting ready to set sail and a team is needed to go undercover and protect them/figure out what is going on. **

**While on board, Castle and Beckett are forced into close quarters,* pretending* to be in love. He speaks of his feelings for her during dinner with the couple they are protecting. It sets Beckett off and she tries to seduce him with sex to shut him up about his feelings. It backfires and they fight, he leaves the room and spends the night elsewhere on the ship. She tries to talk with him about it the following morning, but is interrupted by a phone call… **

* * *

Her heels clacked harshly against the upper deck of the grand ship. _What the hell is it with the interruptions?_ Kate Beckett thought bitterly to herself as she followed the staff member to take the unexpected call. It was certainly a curse that seemed to follow her relationship with Castle. No matter the circumstances, they always seemed to be interrupted at the worst possible times.

"Beckett." She answered the phone sharply, unsure of why anyone would risk blowing their 'lovers on vacation' cover to the staff by calling her on the boat. As it was, her true identity was a _need to know_ basis. The fewer people who _needed to know_, the better. There was little they could do about Castle, he was simply too recognizable. Still, she was usually able to do as she pleased with little recognition and these types of calls jeopardized her ability to do that.

"Hey Kate, I'm sorry to bother you, but you're going to want to take my call." Lanie's voice sounded from the other end of the line.

"What's up Lanie?" Her voice became considerably less short.

"You're on speaker." Came the voice of Victoria Gates.

"Good morning sir." Kate added, now that she knew her boss was in on the conversation. "What's going on?"

"Well," Lanie began to explain, "We recovered one of the bodies and got a finger print. It is a match for a member of the kitchen staff."

"Great. What's the name? We'll pull him in for questioning." She wasn't sure where they would do it, but knew that they would have little problem securing a room for the purpose somewhere on the ship.

"Detective, " Gates interjected, "The print matched a cook who happened to be off duty this time around, he lives in the city and we were able to pull him in for questioning." The older woman explained, "Things certainly have gotten more interesting, detective."

Kate sighed and took in the information. Indeed, things had gotten more interesting.

* * *

She approached the boys, who were finishing up their breakfast while Castle remained immersed in whatever newspaper article he was reading. She suspected that he was using the paper as an excuse to avoid eye contact the knowledge made her sick to her stomach.

"Let's head back to the room and discuss things." She instructed them before walking away, not waiting for them to catch up to her. She knew they would soon enough and now that they had a plan, everything was going to change anyhow.

Kate had been informed that the cook confessed to being involved in the disappearance of the newlywed couples, but adamantly denied being the mastermind. He also implicated the involvement of a waiter on the ship, one that was currently working.

"So, " Kate began once they had joined her in the cabin. "We have a confession, sort of." She took a deep breath and began to clarify,

"Fredrick Georges, a chef who alternates in the main dining hall has confessed to being involved. We found his prints on one of the bodies and he happened to be in the city this trip. They brought him in for questioning, but he still won't give details to implicate that he committed a murder."

Three pairs of eyebrows raised with surprise, listening intently to the details.

"Fredrick Georges has indicated to Gates that he had a partner in crime." Kate opened a folder that held the contents faxed to her by the NYPD.

" Thomas Anee," she began as she passed his photo. "He's a kitchen staff member who is currently serving on this ship, and is said by Georges to have done most of the dirty work. He's got several priors, some for assault and battery, so there is a history of violence on this one." She explained.

"So what's our next move?" Ryan asked as he passed the photo to his partner.

"Well, we've got a unique opportunity here because our cook also implicated that both of them were actually hired to do the job."

"Hired?" Castle spoke up with interest as he took the file from Esposito, who had finished glancing at it.

"Evidently, Georges is adamant that he was paid for his involvement. We were able to verify transactions of ten thousand dollars to his account, each surrounding the disappearance of a couple."

"Paid for by who?" Ryan questioned.

"Alice Reed and Miller Moss." Beckett explained, providing photographs of the individuals in question.

"The owners of the Wingate Hotel?" Castle asked incredulously. Beckett nodded affirmatively.

"Evidently, they are not big fans of couples who have it all." She added.

"So what is our next move?" Esposito interjected.

"Gates wants us to try to get a confession out of Thomas Anee, she wants us to get him to implicate the Wingate owners while we're still at sea. If their stories match up then we've got a case against them. It shouldn't be too difficult, considering we've got his partner in crime, as well as his financials."

"What about Robert and Melanie Craine?" Ryan questioned, "Are they a target?" He was clearly concerned for the newlywed couple they had dined with the night before.

"Well, evidently not. They don't have enough money or clout to be considered potential victims, or at least that is our understanding." She explained before adding, "but we're not taking chances. We've got to get our suspect secured for questioning and we've got to do it before we dock for our first excursion."

* * *

Ryan and Esposito high-fived one another as they walked out of the small room later that day. The small door was now guarded by security. Their concern was very low, however, as Thomas Anee was now in cuffs, having confessed and confirmed the story of their other suspect.

"Nothing like wrapping up a case, nice and clean." Esposito stated confidently, sweeping his hands together as if wiping them of their case.

"Yep," Beckett noted happily, "tomorrow, when we dock in Key West we'll fly him back to the city." The State is already building a bigger case against the owners of the Wingate Hotel."

They made their way up to dinner, resolute to enjoy their last night on the ship and safe in the knowledge that nobody was under direct threat. Kate was determined to sit down with Castle and clear the air once and for all. As they sat at the table, Castle cleared his throat.

"Hey , Beckett." He began, "Since we're done I thought that I would just get another room. There isn't a need to keep up pretenses if we've got our guy. I spoke with the captain and they are completely willing to grant us this small favor for our help." His words slapped her across the face. He carried a short tone and an expression that was reminiscent of the previous year, back when he was working with Slaughter. It was a tone that she never wanted to hear again.

"Yeah, they are giving me my own room too!" Ryan happily added, yelping at the elbow Esposito landed to his side before noting the forlorn look on Beckett's face.

She said little, just nodding. "Good."

Truth be told, Kate didn't know what to feel. A part of her was relieved that they wouldn't have to share another night together, but an even bigger part felt pain. It simply felt wrong to be away from him. Y_ou did this_, she thought bitterly to herself. _He's gone now and it's your fault. You made the choice, so live with it. _Unable to manage her emotions much longer, Kate stood quickly,

"I am feeling a little tired. I think I'll retire for the evening." She turned to leave, but paused again.

"Castle, your stuff?" She asked him, desperate for some time alone although she knew it would do no good.

"Already moved." He answered shortly.

She simply nodded, unable to control her tears as she quickly turned from them and walked away.

* * *

The next evening, after a long day of travel back to the city, Kate Beckett was ready to crash. Castle had long since gone home, getting as much space from her as possible, as soon as possible. Kate found it ironic that she'd chosen their partnership in order to lessen the risk of losing him altogether; and as it turned out, her choice may have pushed him out of her life for good.

The detective was ready to crawl into a hole and lick her wounds, which were arguably self-inflicted when she'd chosen the job over Castle. She blamed nobody but herself, but it didn't change things. She needed time alone to process, pull herself together and move on. She doubted she ever truly would.

Kate was getting ready to do just that when she heard Gates calling her name.

"Detective Beckett." She didn't like the tone in her boss' voice. It hinted of more work to come, and in this case, more work was the last thing she needed.

"Yes, Sir." She spoke.

"Join me in my office, won't you?" She nodded, placing her jacket and purse back on her desk before she made her way to Gates' office. When she entered, she was surprised to find mayor Weldon sitting in a chair, smiling broadly at her.

"Good afternoon, detective." He cheerily spoke as he offered her his hand, shaking it firmly.

"Good afternoon sir. It is nice to see you again." She spoke shortly, but politely.

"We've got an interesting opportunity here, detective Beckett." Gates spoke up, slapping a tabloid down on her desk. Kate looked at the paper, gasping as she noticed a photo that she and Castle had taken on the boat for formal night. There they were, smiling while he wrapped his arms around her. Clearly looking the part of a couple in love. It was all posed, of course, but the casual observer would never be able to tell.

"Sir?" Kate asked, not understanding what the photograph had to do with anything. Afterall, her boss knew that they were undercover.

"Detective, we've got two suspects whose stories line up. We've got the owners of this hotel implicated in a total of 6 murders." Mayor Weldon began to explain, "the minute word gets out that they're even suspected, their lawyers will descend, bury the state in paperwork and shred any case we've got against them. We're dependent on the word of two ex-cons, one of which has a violent crime record."

Kate did not like where this was going, but respectfully listened to the mayor.

"Detective Beckett, if we want to get these guys, we've got to catch them in the act."

Gates cleared her throat, "We have worked out a deal with both suspects, they are willing to cooperate with us in exchange for reduced sentences. We have the chance to catch the true people responsible at the Wingate in the act, hiring our lower-level suspects to commit double murder." Kate nodded in understanding.

"We just need a power couple. We need someone who is visible, someone who is wealthy. We need to find a couple who matches the profile of who they victimize." Mayor Weldon spoke meaningfully to Beckett. Obviously he was thinking of someone like Castle, and he tapped his fingers on their picture in the paper to prove it.

"Sir," she raised her objection, "I don't think that this is such a good idea…"

"Why not? Who better to go in than someone who can be protected? He's already a target by virtue of his success. Your pictures are all over the papers. Everyone will be talking about you two, and this is the perfect opportunity. Besides, people have suspected that the two of you were an item for years" the mayor insisted.

Gates looked sympathetically at her best detective, understanding the true nature of the dilemma. After this was over she was going to have a long conversation with the mayor, as well as with the chief of detectives in order to formulate some workable solution to their predicament.

"If you were to do this, you could solidify this case for the state. Six innocent people have already died because of them." Gates implored Beckett.

She sighed in resignation. "What about Castle. I'm not going to volunteer him for something that he didn't-"

"I've already called him." The mayor spoke up, "He understands the need we have, and is willing to do whatever he can to help this city."

Kate nodded, a pit forming in her stomach. "So what do we need to do?"

* * *

She opened the door to her apartment and let out an exhausted sigh. She just wanted to put this all behind her, and now here she was, preparing herself to put on an indefinite charade. Tomorrow morning the story would be leaked to the press.

_Richard Castle, famous millionaire bachelor and his inspiration, Kate Beckett, are engaged and currently planning their wedding! The couple has been suspected of being romantically linked for years, and now that there is finally proof, things seem to be moving quite fast! Rumor has it that the author and his bride wish the ceremony to be held at the fabulous Wingate Hotel. _

He'd texted a simple message shortly after she'd left the precinct. **The door is locked, but you should still have a key. The guest room is prepared. **Nothing more, nothing less was said and she hurt all over again.

Given the press attention that he got, it was decided that it would seem more realistic if she were living at the loft, afterall, Castle had a history with women and reporters were bound to try and dig up dirt on them both.

She sighed as she threw some of her things into a bag. She paused in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Swallowing back the fresh wave of dread, she grabbed her tooth brush and a few other odds and ends.

She locked her apartment up and made her way to the loft. Just last week this would have been common place, but now she was going under very different circumstances. Kate Beckett knew one thing for sure, this time there was no way her heart would survive. It was already shattered, and it was all her fault.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own them.**

* * *

She awakened to feel the sunlight streaming through the blinds and warming her face. For a moment she was disoriented, unsure as to where she was. Kate had grown accustomed to waking in one of two places, her bed or his, and her current location was neither of those.

_The guest bedroom_, she reminded herself as she stretched her arms over her head. _I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom._ The last time she'd slept here was after her apartment had been blown up nearly three years ago. It seemed much longer than that. Indeed, it felt as if Kate Beckett had lived a lifetime since then.

In many ways she had. Their love affair, while short, had carried an intensity of emotions that many never felt in the span of 50 year marriages. Yes, she had lived a lifetime since the last time she'd awakened in that bed.

_Love affair_. She thought to herself, not liking the sound of the term. It didn't seem to do what they had justice. A love affair seems like something that two people would stumble into with a passion and intensity that was short-lived, burning out as soon as the newness wore off.

What they had was something else altogether. It started slow, burned intense, and truth be told, never burned out. She doubted it ever would, some things were endless, and their connection certainly would fall into that category.

Kate dressed quickly and pulled her hair back into a tight bun, allowing runaway strands to frame her face. She took comfort in routine, her father's watch, her mother's ring, things that were as much a part of her uniform as her badge and gun. Routine brought her comfort in a time of upheaval, a time when she wouldn't know what to expect next.

She braced herself as she grabbed for the door handle, readying herself emotionally for the days and weeks ahead. It was time to set her walls firmly in place and see this through. Hopefully once it all passed she would be able to find some solid ground with him once again. She prayed that she would salvage some aspect of their connection.

She plastered a polite smile on her face as she made her way down the stairs, spotting both Castle and Martha sitting at the counter and eating breakfast. Both mother and son stood when they spotted her, Martha coming to embrace her warmly.

"Good morning, darling." She kissed Kate's cheek, "It's good to see you."

Kate found it odd, especially considering less than a week ago they'd found it habit to have breakfast together.

Rick was polite as well. Reserved, but polite. "I saved you some eggs." He informed her as he crossed into the kitchen and set a covered plate in front of the empty chair on the other side of his mother. He removed the towel to produce a meal of bacon, eggs and toast. It was prepared as he knew she liked it best, complete with her favorite flavor of jam.

"Thanks, Castle." She spoke with a genuine affection in her tone.

"I was cooking anyway." He answered. There wasn't shortness to his tone, but there was reservation. It reminded her of a time months ago, back before they'd crossed that line in their relationship. He was guarded again, a wall built to protect himself from her.

She nodded gratefully and said little else, both partners allowing Martha to fill the awkward silence.

"So let me get this straight, you're leaking a fake engagement to the press?" She spoke with a hint of speculation in her voice. It was clear she did not think that this was a good idea, especially given the recent turn in their relationship.

Kate remained silent and let Castle do the talking. It gave her the opportunity to get a sense of where he stood on things. She wanted to know what he knew and what his plans were.

"That's right. We've got a solid chance to catch these two in the act, and I guess I'm just a prime target." Castle spoke somewhat sardonically. Both women nodded their agreement, it was a universally acknowledged dark side of his success.

"Have you spoken to Alexis? How far is this going to go?" She asked, turning to her son, seated to her left and Kate, on her right.

"It's going to go as far as it needs to, and yes, I did speak with Alexis." Castle informed his mother. Kate interjected,

"You," she motioned to Martha before continuing, "Alexis, my dad, Lanie, the boys, Mayor Weldon and Captain Gates know the truth. Everyone else will think that it is the real deal. The fewer people who know, the more likely we will be able to pull it off." Kate offered somewhat tentatively.

"Well, it's a ready-made wedding party." Martha spoke.

"Yeah. We can have fun planning a wedding and not have to worry about the actual marriage hassle." Castle added in attempt to make a joke. It fell flat, causing what felt like a knife to twist in Kate's gut. She'd assumed somewhere deep inside that one day they would be engaged. She never voiced the longing, but acknowledged that she felt it.

"So, you're going to go through with the actual wedding ceremony? Do you really think that is a good idea, considering…" Martha asked, trepidation clear in her voice, she was clearly referencing the elephant in the room, their strained relationship.

Castle and Beckett both stared blankly at her. They had no idea how far this was going. However, before either could answer her question a knock sounded on the door.

Castle jumped at the chance to make an exit from their rapidly intensifying conversation, "I'll get that!"

The boys entered, followed by Gates who nodded politely at Beckett and Martha when she spotted them. "Lanie and Alexis are on their way up" Offered Ryan as he moved to sit in the living room.

"I figured we should all develop a game plan before this goes public." Gates spoke, "and this seemed to be the most secure place to do it." Everyone nodded, making their way to join the boys.

Kate cleared her throat, "If we're going to develop a plan I think my dad needs-"

"I've already called him, he's on his way." Castle interrupted her. She stared at him for a moment, taking in once again just how reserved he was with her. She smiled thankfully and nodded.

Castle then excused himself to the kitchen to prepare light refreshments for his guests, needing the time to himself before things moved forward.

* * *

45 minutes later the small group gathered to listen to Gates, who began to speak.

"Thank you all for being here. I know that this is a lot to ask of you all, but we've got a powerful opportunity here. We've got the chance to catch a prominent couple, a couple who thinks that they are untouchable because they have money. If we play this right, we can send a very powerful message to the city, we can send the message that having money and power doesn't guarantee immunity when you take the life of another." Everyone swallowed somewhat nervously,

Castle couldn't help but make eye contact with Beckett, glancing at her meaningfully as Gates spoke. It didn't matter how angry he was, or how hurt he was, he knew that the captain's words would strike a chord with Kate. He brought his hand to the small of her back and rubbed soothingly for a moment. If only Gates knew just how meaningful her words were, how close to home they hit.

She smiled at him, letting him know that she was ok. The small gesture of support filled her with warmth and immense gratitude. _Maybe we'll be ok afterall_, she thought to herself. Then the moment was gone and she felt the absence of his warm palm on her back. She felt an immense loss, but she pushed it aside, focusing instead on her boss' words.

"So, we need a game plan. Nobody outside of this room knows the truth. Is that understood?" They all nodded.

"What about Paula?" Castle questioned, "She could help spread the word." He offered.

"Nobody else," Gates re-stated, " Paula can spread the word just as effectively if she thinks it is real." He couldn't disagree with Gates on that front.

"What sort of time frame are we dealing with?" Kate asked, reflecting back on Martha's question. _Just how far will this go? _

"Well, that's partially why we're here. We need our story to be clear and cohesive. We need to move quickly, but we need it to be believable." Gates responded. "It would be ideal if we could get this done within the next several weeks."

"How are we going to make that plausible?" Alexis questioned, "who gets married in a matter of weeks?"

"Well," Gates hesitated for a moment, trying to find the words she was lacking.

"Someone who needs to get married, who is under a time crunch." Castle spoke, the pieces in his head coming together. He knew exactly what Gates was suggesting. Beckett, evidently, followed as well.

"You're suggesting a shotgun wedding?" Kate was incredulous. "You have got to be kidding!" She protested. It was one thing to be linked to Castle romantically in the press. She was used to it, but it was another matter entirely to leak a story that would explain a quick wedding and leave her career intact.

"We can release a statement when it is over with the truth." Gates tried to reason with Beckett.

Alexis didn't follow, "I don't see what the problem is." She spoke somewhat confused.

"They want us to claim that Kate is pregnant. That we're getting married before she shows." Castle clarified. Beckett was steaming, the boys amused and everyone else speechless.

"I'm not asking you to state that she's pregnant. I'm simply asking to allow the insinuation and not deny it." Gates stated.

"It is the perfect cover, honey." Lanie tried to reason with Beckett.

Kate simply stared into space, glaring at her current misfortune. _I'm never going to live this down._ She thought bitterly.

"So," Ryan tried to fill the uncomfortable space, "what role do we play?" He inquired.

"Best man." Castle spoke, quickly correcting himself when Esposito stared at him threateningly. "Best Men…Men." You two make up half of the wedding party.

Gates nodded, "and you two the other half." She spoke to Alexis and Lanie, "the parents play their role too, obviously." Martha and Jim nodded, both feeling immense pain for the charade their children would have to pull off.

"Are we sure that our suspects will bite? I mean, Beckett is a cop, afterall. It would be pretty stupid to target a cop." Esposito expressed his concern.

"Given their success and what we know about the types of couples they target, yes. I think they will be a prime target. Besides, they have no idea that we're onto them. As far as they are concerned, nobody would tie what happened out at sea to them."

"How far is this going to go though?" Castle asked, no longer wanting to beat around the bush.

"We have no way of knowing when they will try to hire our hit men. It could be after your first meeting, a week into planning, or it could be after the ceremony. We're going to have to wait them out." Gates looked at the stricken expressions on the partners' faces.

"Wedding ceremonies are not legally binding. " She clarified.

"You go through the ceremony and we'll make sure that the license is a fake, or we will make sure it is not processed. You don't have to worry about getting legally married here." She hoped it would sooth their worries, but it seemed to make the pair even more uncomfortable.

"So, are there anymore questions?" Gates shifted the conversation. When she was met with silence she nodded.

"Good. Then we'll leak the story. You have an appointment set up for later this afternoon at the Wingate, and we'll get to planning. The sooner we move through all of this, the sooner we can catch them." She nodded, "Ok people. Let's get to work," and with that, she ended their meeting.

Once everyone had cleared out Kate made her way back upstairs to grab a jacket before heading to the precinct for a while.

"Beckett, wait." Castle grabbed for her arm to still her. She simply stared at him, unable to find words in the face of the sensation of his hand on her skin. He always had that effect on her, it was only when she couldn't act on it that it impacted her like this.

As if sensing her thoughts, he took a step back. "Wait here." He instructed before going back to his room. Soon he stepped out, holding something small.

"Look. If we're going to do this then it might as well look real." He explained as he handed her the velvet box in his hands. She tried to swallow back the lump in her throat as she opened it, completely breathless as she took in the ring.

It was elegant, a solitaire diamond with a white gold band. It wasn't overstated, but had a timeless quality to it. The ring is exactly what Kate would have picked out for herself and the thought sent rush of heat through her, as well as a sinking sensation in her stomach.

"Castle. It's beautiful. Where…" She couldn't speak for a moment, needing to get a grip on her emotions.

"Where did you get this?" She finally forced the words out in a whisper.

He simply stared at the ring for a moment, before turning his back on her and leaving the room. Before he shut his bedroom door he answered,

"It doesn't matter anymore."

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter will be told from Castle's perspective, get a bit inside of his head. There is a clear end-point to this story in sight, despite the twists and turns of the journey :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sure many of you will have to re-read to familiarize yourselves with this story again and for that I apologize. Now that I've got a break in my schedule I am finishing this story. The ending fell apart on me and it took awhile to re-create one that I was happy with. The rest of the story is written, aside from some minor editing and the epilogue. Regardless, It will be updated daily from today on and should be completed by Sunday. Enjoy and thanks for coming back! **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

_**Brief Story summary: Our duo has been keeping their relationship secret, but Gates finds out. She issues an ultimatum, the partnership or the romance and Beckett chooses the job. She is left to grapple with the emotional fallout of her decision as a case arises. The mayor requests that they go undercover to investigate murders aboard a cruise ship. While on board Beckett attempts to manage her emotions and break the tension by seducing Castle into meaningless sex, which backfires on her. They identify their killers and determine that they were hired by the wedding directors at a local, prominent hotel. Knowing that power couples are targeted, the mayor once again asks for their help by pretending to be engaged and planning a wedding, hoping to catch their killers in the act of hiring hit men. Castle and Beckett agree and the ruse begins. **_

* * *

He was certain that the universe was conspiring against him. Surely this was all some cruel joke. Someone up above got a kick out of watching him suffer, and they seemed to be especially entertained when it came to Kate Beckett.

After the incident on the boat things had changed. He couldn't believe that she would resort to reducing what they had to casual sex. It was beyond him that she would have gone there and it made him feel sick, manipulated and so very disappointed in her.

Truth be told, he loved her and he always would. However, at some point he would have to make a mature, healthy decision. If she wasn't willing to prioritize him the way he was her then maybe it wasn't worth hanging around for. It was with this resolution that he informed her that this would be his last case, that working with her wasn't going to work for him anymore.

He just hoped he would have the strength to walk away. It was ridiculous to think that they could just go back to being partners, and he thought she would have figured that out by now. _Hell, I don't know what I expected. _He thought to himself.

He felt little else than a sense of deflation. He couldn't even bring himself to be mad at her. He was just tired, emotionally empty, and he was done of being the one that fought for them. _Maybe I was fooling myself into thinking she felt something she never did. Maybe I just wanted it so badly that I created an illusion…maybe it was in my head. _

He would give her credit for trying to open up to him, but maybe it was more one-sided and he'd deluded himself to a point where he couldn't see that. The kicker was that he knew it was too late now. Even if she came to her senses tomorrow, even if she realized that she was trying to do something _impossible_ and came begging for a second chance it wouldn't be enough.

Richard Castle loved her more than he'd ever loved another woman, but he also knew that there was little she could do to make this right. He knew that any future relationship would likely not survive what she'd done. She simply didn't care enough and there was little he could do to change that. She simply wouldn't fight for them.

It was partially in this vein of thought that Castle decided to pull the ring from its home in his sock drawer. He'd purchased it long before, back when they weren't dating yet. He saw it and knew that it was hers, that one day he would give it to her.

_I just never imagined that it would be under these circumstances. _He wanted to be angry, he really did. He wanted to be furious, to punch walls and scream at the top of his lungs. Anger would have been much easier to deal with, but this sense of emptiness took root instead.

"Castle, where did you get this?" She gave a broken whisper. He knew she was hurting too. He knew she cared, it just wasn't enough anymore. He simply turned from her, too devastated to look at her any longer.

"It doesn't matter anymore." He spoke.

_Just get through this last case, get through this assignment and go your separate ways. Lick your wounds in private and move on._ He urged himself. He waited for the front door to close, signaling that she was gone before he ventured back into his room.

* * *

They made their way into the Wingate Hotel together, hand in hand. She wore a soft, intentional smile on her face and he exuded an air of cockiness. To any outsider they seemed like a happy and confidant couple, in love and excited to tie the knot. To the world, millionaire Richard Castle was on top of the world and wanted all to know it.

Beckett saw the façade he projected, the play boy arrogance that he wore like a shield. She let him do the socializing, smiling and nodding along with him. Afterall, few people could work the socialites like he could. This was his domain.

They were greeted warmly by Alice Reed and Miller Moss, owners of the hotel and their prime suspects.

"Well, I understand that congratulations are in order!" She spoke with an unnaturally high pitched voice, her face coated in makeup and her hair pulled back in a fierce bun.

"I must tell you," she continued, "I am such a fan of your writing, Mr. Castle, what an honor that you've chosen us to share in this _special_ occasion."

Castle gave a broad smile, reaching out to shake Miller Moss' hand. "I'm grateful that you could see us on such short notice." He spoke.

"Well," She spoke, clearly off-put but hiding thinly-veiled contempt with a smile,

"Are we to understand we've got a bit of a time crunch?" She looked meaningfully from Kate's face, to her abdomen and back up again to her face, judgment clear in her expression. Beckett wanted to slap the woman.

Sensing her discomfort, Castle squeezed her and pulled her closer to him, his arm coming around her waist to allow his fingers to graze their non-existent baby bump. "The sooner, the better." Castle informed them.

Kate bit her lip shyly, hoping her discomfort would be taken for happiness as opposed to irritation or embarrassment.

"Well then," the older woman continued, her perfume overwhelming Kate's senses, "let's get down to planning."

The couple nodded, taking their surroundings in and watching the woman's business partner as he took notes on their "wedding".

Miller moss was a tall, stern-faced man who reminded them a bit of Lurch, from the Adams Family. It was difficult to find men that were taller than Castle, but Moss was just that. However, he didn't have Castle's broad frame. He was wiry, bordering on boney with long fingers that swept across his planner swiftly as he listened to the stern woman beside him prattle on about wedding details.

"Well, Mr. Castle," When she spoke she addressed him, paying little attention to Kate, as if she wasn't in the room, "if you had gone anywhere else I'd say your time frame wasn't possible."

She was cocky in her response, "but fortunately you came here, and we make the impossible an everyday occurrence." She spoke with airs, and the smug tone made Beckett want to slap her, murder suspect of not.

"First thing, we need to discuss the size of your wedding party…"

Thus began an overwhelming cascade of wedding details.

* * *

It was 7:30 before they returned to the loft, and Kate had a migraine that was nearly debilitating.

"Dear God, I don't remember things being that intense the last time I got married." Castle remarked, causing Kate to raise her eyebrows at him quizzically. It was the first direct exchange the two had encountered in hours.

"Meredith and I got married in Vegas, a quick response to learning Alexis was on the way." He began, "and Gina wouldn't let me have anything to do with the wedding planning." She sat quietly and listened to him, captivated and moved by the weary expression he wore as he spoke, "I remember trying to have input in the music with Gina-just the music, mind you," He looked meaningfully to Kate before continuing,

"She simply brushed me off. She told me that my job was to write the check and show up on the big day."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond, but had to actively swallow back the wave of sadness and jealousy she felt over thinking about his ex-wives, and the anger over how they'd treated him. _I'm no better though, am I? _She wondered to herself.

She was once again made aware of the weight resting on her left ring finger, reminding her of what she might have had. It wasn't the first time and she was sure it wouldn't be the last that she felt a sting of regret over her decision. _Is the job really worth what I am losing?_ She wondered, not allowing herself to dwell on the thought too long.

"Well," She finally spoke up, "You can have all the input you want in this _wedding." _She used the opportunity to quickly shift the conversation onto a safer subject, "besides Alice Reed didn't seem to want to acknowledge my existence." She remarked.

"Neither gave any indication that they were interested in anything shady, but I don't suppose they would." He responded.

"No, I don't think they're going to. They've been quite clean in their tracks. I don't think we're going to break this until they contact one of their hit men. That's going to be our break." She let out a sigh,

"In the mean time, I'm going to have to restrain myself from shooting Reed. What a bitch."

"That's just the type, Beckett. She sees me and thinks of my image, she's focusing on where she thinks the money is coming from." Kate nodded, admitting to herself that there were multiple reasons she wanted Alice Reed behind bars, and being a potential murderer wasn't at the top of her list.

Kate stood from where she was perched on the side of the couch, "Well, I know it is early, but I am wiped." She moved towards the stairs, seeking an escape from the conversation before things got tense again.

"You don't have to do that Kate," came his resigned response.

"Do what?" She asked, pretending to not understand weight of his words.

"You don't have to leave. I promise I'm not going to do anything stupid, and I won't do anything that I'll regret either." His eyes were downcast and her heart broke for him. Before she knew what she was doing she reached out to him, caressing his cheek with her hand. Her heart broke as she fought the familiar magnetic pull, one that she wouldn't have thought twice about just a short while ago. Now it broke her heart.

"I trust you Castle. The problem is I don't trust myself. I don't want to hurt either one of us any more than I already have." She pulled away just as quickly as she'd reached out, and was up the stairs and in her room before Castle could see the tears fall.


	12. Chapter 12

**Show of good faith, two chapters in one day! Enjoy and thanks for reviewing. **

* * *

_She finds herself standing in a large, dimly lit chapel. There is a ceremony of some sort going on in the chapel. She can hear the music. She isn't sure why she is here until she turns to see her father, smiling warmly but sadly at her. He says nothing, just offers her his arm. _

_It is then that she looks down at herself. She's in a bridal gown. She looks for a mirror along the wall and finds a decorative one, the backing of a large candelabra. She wonders how she got there, can't quite remember anything about events that transpired earlier in the day. Yet, here they are, just Kate and her father. _

"_Everyone else is inside, Katie." He smiles to her, "It's time." _

_She takes a deep breath and links her arm in his, a vivid red bouquet of roses in her hand as the doors open._

_The chapel is filled with friends and family on both sides, she recognizes some, but doesn't most. The music is playing. It's Cannon in D Major, one she swore she wouldn't use if she ever got married, she told herself it was too overdone. Yet the violins carried it beautifully as she made her way down the aisle. _

_As she approached the front of the chapel she ventured a glance at her groom, something inside telling her she knew who it would be, the happiness at the thought fills her. She looks up and is hit with a full force of panic and confusion. There, standing at the altar waiting for her, is Josh. _

_Kate turns to her dad in confusion, as if he has an answer for her. He simply whispers, "you have to live with your decisions Katie." _

_He ushers her to the alter and joins her hands with Josh and stands, dazed and in a panic. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Kate looks around to see if she can make sense of anything else, if she can find a clue to help her understand what is happening. _

_Then she sees him. He's sitting in the third row on the Bride's side, towards the aisle. He has a sad, but resigned look on his face. It is one that looks familiar to her as of late. "Castle?" She calls to him, _

"_Kate." Josh calls her attention back to the altar. "You made your decision." He told her with some authority. She looked back for Castle once again, but he wouldn't make eye contact with her anymore, he simply stood, hands in his pockets as he made his way down the aisle towards the chapel door. _

"_Castle, please. Castle NO! Please Don't leave Castle, I made a mistake!" Her hands are pulled back towards josh and she feels as if her feet are cemented to the floor. _

_She looks up to find another familiar face has joined them, As Captain Victoria Gates begins to officiate the ceremony. _

"_Dearly Beloved…We are gathered here this day to…" _

_Kate tuned it out as she looked at Castle's fleeing form one last time. She screamed. _

"_No! Please, Castle! I was wrong! I made a mistake. Please don't let it be too late. Please don't let it be too late." _

She awoke in a sweat, panic heavy on her heart. It was a dream she'd had several times, although details often changed, such as the groom, the major theme was always the same, she was marrying the wrong man. Last night it had been Josh, other nights Will would be there. Sometimes she wouldn't recognize the man at all, aside from an acknowledgement that it wasn't Castle. It was never Castle. In her dreams she was doing the wrong thing and was trapped in the decisions she'd made. It always left her filled with a sense of dread and regret. It took a cool shower to fully wake her and a cup of coffee to bring her fully back . She was in the kitchen sipping from her mug when he joined her.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Came his polite conversation.

"I've been having nightmares." She admitted. Before their relationship she wouldn't have been so open, but he knew her better now, and he knew that when her sleep was disturbed it was because of nightmares. There was no reason lying about it.

"Want to talk about it?" Castle offered.

"Not really, not much can change when your dreams make your mistakes in real life abundantly clear."

"Ah yes, I've had those dreams. The worst are when you're met with your regrets." He spoke knowingly.

"Especially when there's little you can do to fix them." Kate hoped that Castle would take the subtexts to know that she was reaching out to him. His reply came swiftly,

"Sometimes the only things we can do with our regrets, Kate, is learn from them and move on with our lives." He smiled sadly but politely at her before making his way back to his bedroom. The intent behind his message was clear to her, he was telling her that he was going to move on. _He has to_, she told herself.

"We've got a busy day ahead of us. Several busy days if we're going to pull this off." Castle mentioned before he closed his bedroom door once again, leaving Beckett alone with her coffee and her thoughts.

* * *

The following days and weeks brought a flurry of activities for Castle and Beckett, as they planned their "wedding". With the date set just three weeks away, they became quickly inundated with details. Beckett found herself unprepared for the sheer level of detail that went into planning such an event, and found that Alice Reed did little to improve her first impression. Luckily, Miller Moss acted more in an applied role, and although he was mildly creepy, he wasn't as self-absorbed and judgmental as his colleague.

Because there was a time crunch, it was decided that the best approach would be one of divide and conquer, with Castle and the boys taking on some tasks while Beckett, Alexis and Lanie handled others. Martha and Jim helped as necessary with additional details. Kate was somewhat relieved to learn that she would be doing a good amount of the planning without Castle, as if gave her time to think. What she hadn't anticipated was the way she would feel the first time she saw her reflection in a wedding gown.

In order to keep up appearances, she met with Miller Moss and several staff from the Wingate at the dress shop they contracted with. The wave of white dresses was quite overwhelming, a variety of styles and fabrics, lining the walls and compiled in various sections around the suite. Again, she thought of Rick, thought about an alternate reality where this was all real, where she was selecting the gown that she would wear when she committed herself to the love of her life, for the rest of her life.

"Kate, darling, you would look exquisite in this one, don't you think?" She was startled from her musings by Martha, holding beautiful satin gown with lace capped sleeves. It was indeed beautiful and Kate nodded sadly. As if reading her mind, Martha tossed the dress over her arm and led Kate by the hand to the appropriate dressing room.

"It's best that we get this part over with quickly, dear." Martha ushered her.

Once inside the small room Kate was instructed to strip to her strapless bra and panties, where she placed an underskirt especially designed for bridal gowns on. The attendant then helped her into the dress, weaving the intricate ribbon of the lattice work backing the gown. She was amazed by how heavy the garment was, and it took several seconds to adjust before she could walk in it.

She adjusted the sweetheart neckline and ran her fingers across the crystal beadwork that adorned the front of the dress, down to where it cinched at her waist. The dress fit perfectly and in the small mirror she could see that the top of the dress looked spectacular. She nodded to the attendant and made her way to where her family and friends waited.

It was then, in front of her father, Lanie, Alexis and Martha that she saw herself completely for the first time, from head to toe and from all sides. She saw the long satin skirt flow out and down into a moderate train and she gasped. She was stunning.

She made eye contact with her father first and was able to see that despite knowing it was a charade, he was having a difficult time. "You're beautiful Katie." He looked as if he wanted to say more, but was silent.

_Please, dad. Please don't bring up mom_. She silently begged, _don't mention her when we know this isn't real; this can't be real. _He must have understood her silent plea because he remained quiet, allowing Martha and Lanie to take over. They examined her from all sides, commenting on the shape of the dress,

"I swear that this dress was made for you." Lanie commented.

"You are a sight, Katherine." Martha added, squeezing her hand before adding for Kate's benefit alone, "and any man would be lucky." Before she took a step back the older woman leaned in and whispered, "but I'm biased and you know that." Kate smiled to herself sadly, wishing once again for things to be different.

"Thank you Martha."

"Now for the important part." Miller Moss cut in, carrying in his hands an intricate lace veil. He stepped up to her and moved to place the attached comb into her hair.

"Our clients are always amazed by how much the veil transforms the dress. It really pulls it all together and suddenly, you're a bride!" He was cheerful as he arranged the lace around Kate's shoulders, finally stepping back when satisfied.

"That's better!"

He stepped back out of the way and allowed Kate to take in her appearance once again. It took her breath away. It was exactly how she imagined she would look on her wedding day.

"So, is this your dress?" He pushed rather quickly. Kate simply nodded affirmatively, not that it actually mattered, but yes. She nodded affirmatively, but couldn't find words.

In that moment she was reminded of her dream once again, walking down the aisle to a man she didn't love while the man she did stood by. It reinforced for her that the only man she could be a bride for was Rick. Overwhelmed by the reality of it, she felt a lump rise in her throat.

Sensing her mood, Martha and Lanie both approached, placing an arm around Kate. "It's ok sweetie! Of course you're emotional. It's the happiest day of your life!" Lanie tried to cover the tears that threatened to slip from Kate's eyes.

There wasn't too much concern regardless, as the bridal shop regularly saw weeping brides, parents and bridal parties for a variety of reasons. Kate's emotional reaction was par for the course as far as they were concerned.

She squeezed Lanie's hand and nodded, smiling softly. "Thanks, I guess the moment just caught up to me."

"If you're ready to change, I'll help you out of the dress." It was the first sentence Alexis uttered since they'd arrived. Kate nodded, allowing the red-head to carry the train as they walked back to the dressing room.

Once the two were alone in the dressing room Alexis began the job of un-weaving the ribbons to loosen the back of her dress. They sat in silence for several moments, Kate desperately trying to gain ground with her emotions and Alexis giving her room to collect herself. Finally the dress was loose enough for Kate to step out of it.

She stood, holding the front of the dress against her chest to cover herself, and faced Alexis.

"Thank you." She smiled softly, reaching out to squeeze Alexis' arm with gratitude.

"No problem. "Alexis paused, hesitated, and then softly spoke, "For what it's worth Kate, I wish this was real too. It should be real." Her words took Beckett by surprise for a moment, but she simply acknowledged Alexis and offered,

"I'm going to make it right Alexis. I don't know how, but I'm going to make it right. After everything he's done for me, I'll make it up to him."

She paused and then admitted to herself, to Alexis, "because I love him. I always have and I always will. I know that, and I'm not going to be afraid of it anymore."


	13. Chapter 13

Despite her new knowledge and self-awareness, and her resolution to talk things out with Castle, Kate found herself with little time to act. Wedding planning took over their lives and they had to completely engage to make it look authentic to their suspects. The few times she tried she found she was shot down pretty quickly. The evening after dress shopping brought about the first experience, as they were finishing their dinner and discussing wedding music.

"What would our first dance be?" She asked, trying to prompt him into discussing possibilities with her.

"I don't know Kate, what does it matter?" He spoke with mild irritation in his voice, "Let's just pick something. How about Endless Love, that's pretty standard, isn't it?" He asked, a flatness in his tone that cut her deeply. She couldn't blame him. Afterall, she knew she'd hurt him deeply.

"I guess so," She offered, "although it isn't really us."

"Kate, none of this is us and you know that. What are you trying to do here?" He asked defensively.

"I'm trying to talk to you Castle. I know I hurt you, and I know I made a mistake. If I could take it back, I would." She offered, hoping he would be receptive to her admittance.

"But you can't, Kate. Even if you could, how long would it last before you wanted to change your mind again? A relationship isn't something that just falls into place, you have to commit to it and work at it." He paused and hesitated before adding,

"You have to prioritize it and clearly, you don't. Your priorities have always been very clear." He didn't mask his anger as he moved to leave the room.

"Choose whatever song you want Kate, it doesn't make a difference anyway." He shut is bedroom door before she had a chance to respond.

* * *

The façade wedding day rapidly approached, and soon they were down to the wire. The food was catered, the cake purchased, and the dresses and tuxes ordered and altered in record time; Photographers, a DJ, flowers, they had everything in place. With the big day approaching and little else to do, the entire wedding party went out for cocktails early the evening before the ceremony. Both Reed and Moss were invited, giving Esposito and Ryan a chance to trail them. The hit men in custody had been fitted with wires, and were waiting for the call.

Castle and Beckett had acted their parts perfectly and all were confidant that they'd succeeded at making targets of themselves.

With everything in place, there was little more to do than enjoy one another's company. Rick and the boys frequented the hotel bar while Lanie, Martha and Alexis relaxed in the nearby lounge. This left Kate and her dad to themselves at a small, private table, where cappuccinos were ordered and conversation was warm.

"How you doing, Katie?" He asked her, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"I know that this has been a lot for you to deal with, especially considering that you and Rick are no longer together." He kept his voice low to ensure that their conversation was not overheard.

She nodded, returning his affectionate squeeze, "I'm becoming aware of the bigger picture and I'm definitely aware of some mistakes I've made." She spoke sadly, her voice laced with regret. Of all the cases she'd worked, it took just this one, a glimpse at what she might have had, to make her see the error in her logic.

Her father sighed, "Katie, did I ever tell you about the fight your mom and I had while we were planning our wedding?" Kate looked to her dad with interest, she knew most of their stories, but this one didn't sound familiar.

"No, really? Before the wedding?" She pressed him for details.

He laughed to himself, shaking his sugar packet before ripping it open and pouring it into his coffee.

"Your mom was a hot-head, if ever there was one. It's a trait she passed on to you." He looked up to his daughter meaningfully, earning himself an eye roll.

"The night before the wedding we exchanged gifts. She got me season tickets to the Yankee Games that year." Kate smiled, impressed by how well her mom knew her dad even back then. Baseball was the way to his heart.

"I got her a vacuum cleaner." He stated. Beckett simply raised her eyebrows, clearly unimpressed with the gesture.

"It was a really nice one, and she had this cat, was always complaining about how much he shed…So I thought it would be a thoughtful gift!" He defended himself, laughing as he thought back on the memory, on how his plan had backfired.

"All she saw was the man getting the little servant wife a tool to keep his house clean. She lost it!" He laughed as he thought back on it. Kate laughed too, "That sounds like mom, justice for all but housework for none." They laughed again.

"So how did you talk her down from it? How did you convince her to marry you anyway?"

"I made a big gesture, Katie. I let her and anyone who would listen know that I wanted her and nobody else." He eyed his daughter meaningfully before adding,

"I also offered to do all the housework for the first year." They both laughed at his final statement.

"The point is that I fought for her, Katie. I wanted her. I knew what she meant to me, and I knew that I wasn't going to find anyone better than her. She was it for me and so I fought." Kate nodded, but her father continued,

"Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Katie?"

"I think I do." She responded.

"Good." He said, before pulling another sugar from the container and mixing his coffee again.

* * *

Later that evening left Kate alone with the girls. They went out for cocktails; Kate, Lanie and Martha drinking a variety of mixed beverages while Alexis had a Shirley temple. Moved by her father's words, Kate finally admitted to them that she was wrong, that she was miserable, and that she didn't know how to fix it.

"Katherine, you and my son have been running circles around one another for years. He loves you like he's loved no other woman, but there's only so far a person can go before it becomes unhealthy." Martha was serious in her tone and did not take her eyes off the young detective.

"Darling, he believes that you're not invested in him and that he's reached that point of no return." She explained briskly.

Truth be told, the older woman was very much in favor of them patching things up, but needed Kate to hear the harsh truth if she would have any shot of fixing things.

Kate nodded in understanding."He has no reason to believe otherwise, I certainly didn't give him what he needed. I chose the job to guarantee some form of relationship and lost him anyway. " Both Alexis and Martha nodded their agreement, squeezing Kate's hands in sympathy now that they knew Kate was seeing the error of her ways."

"Whatever happened-happened." Lanie stated, "and we're not going to get anywhere by dwelling on it. We need a game plan now!" She offered, before placing her hands on Kate's shoulders,

"Kate Beckett." Lanie leveled her with her stare. "What is it that you want?" She asked, a slight slur in her speech due to one too many cosmos.

"I want Rick. I want a take-back. I want to choose him. I chose wrong and I want him to forgive me. I want him back. I love him, Lanie" She admitted, causing both Martha and Alexis to Smile. They'd known it, but it was nice to hear that Kate was finally verbalizing it.

"I've just got to convince him." Her statement was met by three gazes of sympathy. They all knew it would be easier said than done.

* * *

She woke up the morning of her "wedding day" with an overwhelming sense of urgency. The case would be over soon and so would her chance to get through to Castle. They knew that Reed and Moss would likely make a move just before or after the ceremony, so they had teams on standby. The minute they placed the order for a hit on Castle or Beckett the State would have all the evidence they needed. Now it was just a matter of time.

Kate rehearsed what she might say to Castle in her head again and again, but nothing seemed sufficient. She understood that Castle was hurt, he was broken by her decisions, as well as by the stupid things she'd done after when she wasn't managing her own emotions well. She needed to fix it, and she needed to show him that they were a safe bet, that she was invested. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be getting the time soon.

She'd been awakened at the crack of dawn and rushed off into hair and makeup, and now she was on the brink of going out of her mind as they focused on her nails. It's funny how one case can take you to such extremes, she'd been so worried that not being able to work with Castle. Yet here she was, ready to throw their partnership away, to deal with Gates' wrath, just have a second chance with him. Hell, truth be told, after this case, Gates owed one hell of an apology as far as Kate was concerned. She knew that her boss was under the mayor's thumb, but still, the timing was horrible and even the captain had to acknowledge that.

Now the only thing on her mind was getting a few minutes with Castle before the ceremony started. She couldn't wait any longer and needed to tell him how she felt. She needed to make him listen. Clothed in yoga pants and a button-up shirt, hair and makeup done and veil trailing down her back, she sought him out. As she made her way down the hallway to the grooms quarters of the hotel she could hear random Wingate employees yelling to her,

"Ms. Beckett, what are you doing? It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the…" She slammed the suite door in their faces, catching her breath as she gazed upon the faces of two very confused detectives and one equally lost writer.

"Castle, we need to talk." She spoke with desperation in her tone.

"I think we'll go look for that thing…" Esposito blurted.

"Yeah, the thing." Ryan agreed and the boys made themselves scarce, giving the room to Castle and Beckett.

"What is it, Kate?" He asked, concern in his voice.

She took a deep breath_, Here it goes. All in._

"Castle, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I made a mistake and I am asking you to forgive me. I want to give us another try. I was wrong, Castle" She started to babble as she pleaded with him.

"Kate, I…" he hesitated, "I can't just turn it on and off, it isn't a switch."

"Castle, I love you." She blurted out, her eyes wide and watering. "Please."

"Kate, I love you too." He took her hands in his as he began to speak, "I do love you, but Beckett I don't see things changing. You're in this until you're not, and frankly I don't think I'll survive it the next time you decide you want something else."

"Castle, please give me a chance, I don't want anything else. I just want you." He placed his finger on her lips to silence her, a regretful look on his face.

"Kate, let's just get through this last case, then we can talk. Ok?" Before she could respond there was a knock at the door.

"Mr. Castle, we've got to get going." Came the voice of Miller Moss.

Castle smiled sadly at Beckett, "That's my cue." He turned away from her once again, putting space between them.

"You've got the ring for the ceremony?" He asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Lanie has it."

"Great. Esposito has yours. See you soon Beckett."

She felt a loss for words. This wasn't at all how she wanted things to go. _Did he not hear me? Did he not understand just how much I care? What if I am just too late? _She left the room feeling frustrated and hopeless.

* * *

Kate returned to the bridal suite, where an army of assistants were waiting to serve her. Soon her dress was on, her jewelry in place and her veil lining the sides of her face and her shoulders. She looked over herself in the mirror, once again amazed by the sight. She made a beautiful bride. Her hair was swept up softly, with romantic tendrils framing her face. _This is exactly how I would want to look on the day I gave my heart to him._ She thought to herself, somewhat sadly.

The knock at the door alerted her to her company, but she was surprised to find that the visitor was not her father, but captain Gates.

"Detective Beckett, all things considered, I must say you look beautiful."

Kate smiled and nodded graciously, "thank you, sir."

"Detective, I wanted to talk with you briefly if you have a minute." The captain requested.

Kate nodded, "of course, sir."

"Beckett, I owe you an apology. I owe both you and Rick an apology, but as my detective and subordinate, mainly you."

"Sir, I don't understand." Kate tried to clarify what her boss was talking about, although she was damned certain about where apologies were needed.

"When I learned about your relationship with Mr. Castle I gave you a choice, and to be completely honest, I hadn't thought it through. Had I done so, I would have realized that you, detective Beckett, just might have been the type of person who would choose their professional over their personal relationship."

"But, Sir. I'm not really…" She couldn't finish, as she was cut off again.

Gates continued, "I'm saying that I'm sorry. I am sorry that I gave you the option of working together because the fact of the matter is you would be equally compromised. What I don't want to see happen is that you lose both, Kate."

"Considering how well we work together, sir. Considering that we have the highest clearance rate in the city. Considering that we are a team, the boys, Castle and myself…" Kate hesitated for a moment, trying to find the words to express herself.

"Sir, we've saved this city countless times and have done numerous favors for the mayor." Kate began to explain.

"Don't you think that we've earned the right to work together, to have both?" Kate pleaded.

"I don't have that kind of power, Detective. I can't alter policies or make exceptions." Kate sighed in defeat and nodded her head. It didn't seem to matter anyhow, as far as she could tell she'd blown her chances with Castle.

She did not anticipate what would come next,as Gates sighed and continued speaking, "but your friend the mayor out there, he certainly can." Kate shot her head up swiftly.

"What?"

"I took the initiative to speak with mayor Weldon about your situation, and although there are specifics we must work out where field work is concerned, Mr. Castle will be allowed back in, as long as you keep your relationship out of the precinct." Gates had a smirk on her face, but it soon fell as she took in Kate's facial expression.

"Sir, it may be too late. I didn't fight hard enough. This is his last case and it is nearly over." Gates nodded, but instead of sadness she wore a look of determined resolution on her face.

"Well, _nearly over_ isn't_ over_. Now is it?" She spoke with a great level of authority.

"No sir, it isn't." Kate smiled.

* * *

Soon it was time to start the ceremony, and as Castle and the boys waited inside the Hotel chapel, Kate readied herself to walk down the aisle. At that moment she noticed a commotion, a group of police officers catching her attention. As the procession of the bridal party began, Kate was approached by various uniformed men, along with Captain Gates who was communicating with dispatch.

"We've got them in custody." She spoke confidently to Beckett.

"We caught them. About 5 minutes ago Alice Reed placed a call arranging for the "disappearance" of one Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett on their Honeymoon Cruise, Complements of Wingate Hotel." Kate smiled at their good fortune.

"Do the boys know?" Kate responded, still standing outside the closed doors of the chapel as the music played and the procession of Martha and her bride's maids continued.

"No, they don't." Gates answered.

"Their radios would have looked suspicious and we certainly didn't want to tip anyone off if they were going to wait until after the ceremony to make the call." the captain explained,

"that said, I see no reason to keep up this charade anymore. I can go get them and we can inform everyone of the true nature-"

"Sir, wait." Kate interjected, "If it's all the same, there's something that I want to say to Castle, and I think that there might not be a better time or place than right now."

Gates smiled knowingly and gave Kate's arm a squeeze, "Then go get him already."

Moments later the music to cue the Bride started. With a deep breath she inhaled and took her her father's arm, bright purple flowers adorning the bouquet. Before they took their first step down the aisle her father leaned in and whispered,

"Remember...Fight like hell, Katie."

* * *

**Random question/Request: I'm looking for someone with knowledge of finances, accounting & economics, specifically investment portfolios, to help me with the plot of a story. If you are that person please PM me. Thanks :) **


	14. Chapter 14

"Remember, fight like hell, Katie."

She smiled and nodded to her father, swallowing back the lump of in her throat as they began the long walk down the aisle.

Kate looked at their friends and family as she slowly moved forward. She made eye contact with Gates, who gave her a nod of encouragement. Finally, she took a deep breath and braced herself for him.

Their eyes met, and the room disappeared. For a few brief moments they were completely alone, taking in one another as she moved up the aisle toward him. Kate could tell by the honest love and vulnerability in his eyes that in the moment, this was real for him. It was real for them.

It wasn't until she felt the gentle tug from her father that Kate realized she'd stopped walking. The sense of love and desire was so overwhelming that she needed to remind herself to breathe. She wanted time to stop, for them to exist in this bubble of certainty they'd found. She wanted to keep him there, to show him that she would do whatever she needed to do to show him that they would be in it together.

Soon she was at the altar, and with a kiss on her cheek, Kate's dad placed her hand in Rick's; they continued to stare at one another. It was as if a million conversations were spoken in the span of seconds, she could see her past, present and future in his eyes. Kate Beckett knew in that moment that her future was with this man. Then the officiator began to speak and the spell was broken.

Castle was startled out of his daze, looked around the room to get his bearings and slid back into the role he was playing. The blinds of numbness came back down into his eyes and the real Castle was hidden once again. The officiator spoke for quite some time about the sanctity of marriage, then came the part that made Kate's heart rate speed. Castle went first.

Richard Castle, Speak after me:

I Richard Castle, Take You Katherine Beckett,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish;

from this day forward until death do us part.

Beckett listened as he spoke those words to her, knowing he wouldn't allow himself to dig too deeply, the pain was barely hidden as it was. She sighed as he slid the band on her finger. She had to fight back tears once again, but this time she was also filled with hope, that just maybe she could make him understand.

Next was her turn, and once handed the ring she was asked to slide it on his hand.

"Katherine Beckett, Speak after me..." He gave her the words to repeat, to complete the ceremony.

" I Katherine Beckett…"

She stopped, unable to find the words that had just been spoken. Castle looked at her with confusion and she gazed back into his eyes, desperate to make him understand. She briefly looked to her loved ones, all watching and supporting her. In that moment, Kate found that she couldn't wait anymore.

"I can't do this, Castle." She spoke blatantly, much to the surprise of everyone in the chapel.

"They caught them. Gates just told me a few seconds ago, they are in custody." For a moment he was stunned, but soon found his words of protest.

"Then why are we up here?" He asked, confused as to why this had been allowed to continue.

"Because, Castle. I love you." He looked at her, shocked that she would admit such a thing in front of all of their friends and family, in front of Gates. She placed her palm against his cheek and tilted his face back toward her, bringing their gazes back into alignment.

"Richard Castle, I love you", she reiterated before dropping her hands to take both of his.

"Kate, I don't.." He began to speak but was abruptly cutoff, unable to formulate a single word as he witnessed what Kate did next.

With fingers still intertwined with his, Kate Beckett dropped to her knees at the altar.

"Richard Castle, I love you… and I want to marry you." His jaw dropped. "Marry me, Castle."

He was simply stunned, watching her as she pleaded for his hand in front of their friends and family.

"Rick. You've fought for me, for us, for the last 5 years. You've believed in us and carried us. You've loved me through my worst and asked for so little in return. Rick, it's my turn now. It's my turn to fight for you, and if you let me, I want to spend the rest of our lives proving to you that I'm in this. I'm completely committed." With a slight pull from him she stood back up, their hands still entwined.

"Castle, I just want you. I'm so sorry it took me such a long time to figure it out." She searched his eyes meaningfully, looking for some clue that the walls were coming back down. Gradually, he allowed himself to believe this all was happening and a sweet smile spread across his features.

He simply leaned his head against hers, lacing their fingers together "I thought you'd never ask." She couldn't help but laugh with relief.

"I love you, Castle. You're it for me. I just want to be your wife, we can figure out the rest together."

He laughed, joy erupting from him as tears slipped from both their eyes. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her tears away "You maddening woman. Yes, I'll marry you." After several moments in one another's arms, they took a step back and were greeted by cheers from Lanie and the boys, as well as Jim, Alexis and Martha; while everyone else looked on in confusion.

"Let's do this then." She smiled and turned to the officiator.

"What, now?" Rick asked incredulously.

"No time like the present. I don't want to wait another moment, Castle. I want to marry you now." He smiled and nodded, kissing the back of her hand and taking his place across from her once again at the altar. This time it was different because the smile on his face was real, and it came from a joy within.

"Where were we?" Kate asked the master of ceremonies eagerly.

"I believe we were on the part about _man and wife_. You may kiss your bride, I suppose." He replied somewhat confusedly, unsure of what had just transpired.

This time the entire room cheered as they wrapped themselves in one another, kissing until need for air forced them apart.

"We still need to sign the marriage license, you know. One that is legal." He whispered to her as they made their way down the aisle.

"Well get right on that." She replied happily. He squeezed her hand and they both laughed as they exited the church, faced with an array congratulations and seed tossed at them as they passed.

Once out of their guests' views, they leaned against the back of the building. Castle couldn't wipe the grin from his face and Kate wasn't much better.

"Did that just happen?" He asked, somewhat dazed.

"I think it did." Came her dreamy reply.

She leaned up to kiss him on the lips chastely, "Now, how about we go and celebrate at our wedding reception, complements of the NYPD?"

He couldn't help but laugh, "That sounds great to me, Ms. Castle."

* * *

**For those who are interested, I've tweeted a photograph of the dress she's wearing in this scene. (Addison Sperry on twitter). :) **


	15. Epilogue

**This Epilogue pure fluff. Balancing the heartbreak earlier in the story **** Despite it being relatively new, the song in this chapter may be one of the most Castle-Beckett appropriate songs I've heard. I had to use it here! **

The ballroom at the Wingate Hotel is grand, and it is decorated to the max for the façade wedding reception-turned-real wedding reception. They were planning to play the part, so everything was in place, a DJ waiting to introduce the happy couple, friends and family waiting eagerly inside to greet them. There was delicious food, a cake to cut, dancing to do and celebrations to have, and it was all real now.

Kate smiled to herself and squeezed her husband's hand a little tighter. Since leaving the ceremony he hadn't been able to separate herself from him. Her hand remained in his, as if loosing the connection would break the spell. That she would find that none of it had happened and she was alone once again if she let go.

Sensing her insecurity, he squeezed her hand lovingly, "Kate, we made it. We did it, and there's no going back for either one of us. You can rest assured that I'm not going anywhere and nothing is going to change who we are to one another again. You're my wife now and I'm your husband." He caressed her face, brushing his nose against hers and giving Eskimo kisses of sorts.

She sighed and allowed him to pull her against him, her white dress falling softly around her and her veil still adorning her face.

"If I haven't told you already, you must know that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Kate. You glow. You're simply radiant and when I saw you come down that aisle it took my breath away. He cupped her cheek, causing her to move her lips to his hand and plant kisses there.

"Kate Beckett, I'm the luckiest man on earth. Thank you for fighting for me, for us." He planted a soft kiss to her lips, lingering just long enough to inhale her familiar scent .

She smiled at his words, bringing a finger against his lips before he could speak again, she replied, "It's not Kate Beckett anymore, Rick." With a smile on her face, she allowed him to pull her against him, lift her and spin her around. Their joy was contagious and everyone in the vicinity couldn't help but smile as they beheld the newlywed couple.

Ryan and Esposito joined them, followed by Lanie and Alexis, as well as Jim and Martha. The group stood outside of the main ball room. As the guests were getting situated, they waited for the DJ to formally announce the bridal party. Martha is the first to approach Kate,

"Thank you, Katherine. Thank you for taking the risks and for showing us-showing him- all how committed you are, how right you two are. There was never a doubt in my mind and I'm so happy that you've been able to reach this place." She held the detective close to her and whispered in her ear "Can you join me in the ladies room for a moment?"

Kate took a step back, a bit confused by the request. The ladies room? Clearly Martha wanted privacy, but it seemed like an odd request at a time like this.

"Um, sure Martha." She responded before allowing the older woman to escort her away. Once inside, Martha came to stand next to Kate, She stood slightly behind her and turned the detective to face the mirror.

"Katherine." There are certain things that should be when we get married, and because of the unique circumstances here, those things didn't happen. Kate arched her brow in confusion,

"I'm sorry, I'm not following, Martha." She waited for some sort of clue that would help her understand Martha's meaning.

"Kate, today just became your wedding day. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. Really look, and tell me what you see."

"Um… I see a veil and a dress." Kate started. "I see that I am exactly the bride I want to be, and I've married the groom I want for the rest of my life. I see my own joy, I suppose." It was her best shot at what she thought might satisfy whatever Martha was trying to do.

"Katherine, let me tell you what I see. I see beauty, grace and joy. I see a sense of inner peace and strength and a great deal of determination. I see loyalty and compassion, and I see everything that a mother would be proud of in her daughter."

Her words struck Kate deeply and suddenly she understood what Martha was doing, what she was trying to give her. Tears filled her eyes and she had to swallow back a sob that threatened. Indeed, this was Kate's wedding day, a moment for mothers and daughters.

"Kate, I know that your mother would give anything to be here today. I know that she is exceedingly proud of you. How could she not be? I certainly am."

Tears were now freely flowing down Kate's smiling cheeks, prompting Martha to cup the younger woman's face in her palms, using her thumbs to wipe her tears away.

"Kate, I know I can never give you what you want, but I need you to know that I have so much love and respect for you, so much pride in who you are and who you have become. If you ever need a mother, please know that I'm here to…"

She wasn't able to finish her thought because in the next instant Kate was embracing her, feeling a mother's love for the first time in a long time. It was exactly what she needed and her new mother-in-law had given her a priceless gift. It was one that neither woman would forget.

Soon the joined the wedding party again, Kate coming to kiss her new husband just before the attendant came to usher the group into the grand ball room. As the DJ announced them one by one, Kate and Rick took in the beautiful décor that had transformed the room into a glowing, whimsical and classically romantic setting. The dim lighting completed with candles cast an ambience around the room that was perfect for celebrating their union.

Soon after introducing them, the DJ cleared room on the dance floor. He then announced that the time for their first dance had approached. He thought back on their conversation about music, about his brushing her off and telling her to just pick something.

"Did you ever choose something, or are we about to be subject to the whims of Dj-Spinz?" Castle asked somewhat jokingly. Kate simply smiled at him and kissed his cheek, "I took care of it."

No sooner than the words were out of her mouth, the soft piano music cued them to move slowly to the center of the dance floor. The lights dimmed and soon all that could be seen was the bride and groom, coming together. He recognized the sweet tune right away, a soft smile crossing his features as he looked at her questioningly.

"I couldn't think of a better song for us, Castle." He smiled and nodded, taking her hand. Soon violins joined the piano and he took her in his arms, he brushed a swift kiss to her lips as the words began to sound and they moved in time to the gentle rhythm of their first song.

**I've waited a hundred years. But I'd wait a million more for you. **

**Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do. **

Their eyes remained locked as they listened to the words.

Words that held such significance for them, for the journey that they'd taken to get to this place. She lightly caressed the back of his neck with her fingers, entwining them within his hair as she gazed upon her husband.

**If I had only felt the warmth within your touch.**

**If I had only seen how you smile when you blush. **

**Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough,**

**I would have known what I was living for all along. **

**What I've been living for. **

Castle held her against him softly but securely, inhaling her scent with a soft smile on his face. Indeed, he'd waited years for her. He'd waited without knowledge of her caress or her warmth, as he slowly gained access to the secret parts of Kate, to the parts that would be reserved for him only in her heart. Yet, it was all worth it and if he had to do it all over again, he wasn't sure that he'd change a thing. As long as it meant that she would remain in his arms now.

**Your love is my turning page. Only the sweetest words remain. **

**Every kiss is a cursive line**

**Every touch is a re-defining phrase. **

**I surrender who I've been for who you are. **

**For nothing makes stronger than your fragile heart**

**If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,**

**I would have known what I've been living for all along. **

**What I've been living for. **

Kate sighed against him, holding onto him while her lips grazed his neck. She thought about the past weeks and months, even the past years. She thought about the person she was before Castle, and the person she became when she'd fallen in love with him. Finally, she contemplated the person that she would become now that she'd surrendered her heart and allowed love in.

With a change in rhythm and tempo he twirled her across the dance floor, which was a stunning show when the lights reflected on the lace covered train of Kate's dress. Bringing her back into his arm, they both listened for the final verse of the song they knew so well.

**Though we're tethered to the story we must tell. **

**When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well. **

He couldn't help but mouth the words to her. Afterall, it was their story and writing their story was what brought them to this place in the end. She sighed and laid her head against his shoulders, aware that whatever came next, they'd get through it together.

**With a whisper, we will tame the viscous seas. **

**Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees. **

They stood on the dance floor together after the music faded away, staring into one another's eyes. She wore a sweet smile as she took her husband in yet another time. He leaned in to kiss her, keeping his lips against hers as they both smiled.

"So, where does Ms. Castle want to go for her Honeymoon?" He asked happily.

"Castle, as long as we're together, I'm up for anything."

He smiled broadly at her, teasing her a bit. "You promise?"

Her response was anything but teasing, as she softly replied, "Always, Castle. Always."

**The End. **


End file.
